Even the most busy and absorbed American parents consider it their indispensable duty to devote as much time as possible to their children. There is even such a thing as family day, which is usually one of the weekends, entirely devoted to the family.
From infancy, parents take children everywhere with them – in America everything is adapted for this.
The American family is the living embodiment of democracy. The American child is a full member of the family, it has the same voting right as the rest in all matters.
Therefore, unlike their foreign peers, little Americans almost get used to their habits to decide what to wear, what to wear and how to brighten up their leisure time.
Grandparents grandparents in America leave is not accepted. It is believed that children are a problem of parents, and, since the family decided to have babies, even if they deal with them completely. Parents most often hire a babysitter.
The overwhelming majority of representatives of this profession in the United States are immigrants without special education who are willing to work for a very small remuneration by American standards.
In most cases, deprivation of entertainment, sweets, toys and other pleasures is practiced as a punishment for naughty toddlers in the United States. However, 69% of Americans today admit that from time to time they still “slap their children on the pope or give them cuffs” if they behave badly.
And this is despite the fact that complaints of babies in kindergarten, school or just neighbors about the beating of mothers or fathers can lead to serious proceedings.
The French, first of all, try to educate future exemplary family men and law-abiding citizens from their children. Creating a social unit for them is much more important than encouraging self-expression.
Nevertheless, this does not mean that French parents are less caring and loving, they just believe that it is important for a child to be raised, that he needs to instill certain ideas, to talk about the values of French society.
French parents do not consider it necessary to interrupt any activity in order to listen to the child or pamper him. French moms and dads are not shy about making comments on their children about stupidity, bad taste, bad manners, inappropriate behavior and negligence in dressing.
Home education in France is not popular. French women prefer to work. In addition, most French mothers believe that early socialization will only benefit the baby.
After all, in a nursery or kindergarten, the kid starts to play, read, draw with friends. In addition, he understands early what discipline is and how important it is to be disciplined and, equally important, independent. French children quickly learn how to handle cutlery, dress and undress themselves, use the toilet without the help of adults, etc.
Grandmothers and grandfathers take little part in raising their grandchildren – it is not customary to involve them in this in France. But as for the punishment system, in France it is not considered shameful to give a child a belt in a “soft spot”. A survey conducted back in 2007 by specialists from the European Family Union organization (Europaische Familienunion, UFE) found that 9 out of 10 French parents resorted to physical punishment of their children.
95% of respondents admitted that they themselves got it from their parents as a child, and about 65% were even sure that the physical punishment was justified.
The typical Englishman has a strict character. From an early age, the child is taught to be independent, depriving him of every kind of care.
An English family is smaller than any other European, and even more so Russian, protecting a child from the outside world. The child is brought up so that he feels in the company of his peers and mentors as much at home as in his own family.
Even children’s tears are considered by the British unacceptable impact on others. The baby fell off the bike – no one will lift it or worry about a broken knee. The child must stand up on his own and, most importantly, go on!
But he is only 3 years old!
With regard to the system of punishments, in the UK since 1860 there is a “Bill of Children”. According to the amendments to it, introduced in November 2004, for physical assault, as a result of which “bruises, scratches or reddening of the skin occur,” parents can be given up to five years in prison.
In Germany, there is no authoritarian and overwhelming education, but there are rules and traditions. From an early age children are taught to order, punctuality and commitment. They are taught to do everything themselves: fell – get up, pour out tea – wipe.
In their own room, children can do whatever they want – this is their territory, but in the apartment itself you need to behave decently, you can not touch the things of parents without permission. Children immediately realize that every person has their own interests and desires.
Where parents work, as a rule, they hire a nanny, and mothers can make a career and earn money to pay for housekeeping and parenting helpers. Or to give the children to children’s institutions, and the place must be taken care of in advance – many mothers get on the line immediately after leaving the hospital.
In kindergarten, little Germans usually play a lot of games that teach them to think and make decisions on their own.
Since 2000, the rights of children in Germany have been protected by law, and any adult violence against them is legally persecuted. Clause 2 of Article 1631 of the German Civil Code states: “Children have the right to be brought up without violence.
Corporal punishment, mental harm and other actions degrading human dignity are prohibited. ”
Italy is a paradise for children! Little Italians grow in an atmosphere of permissiveness and unsystematic. They are allowed everything.
Italians everywhere take babies with them, so they are always visible and audible, except for the time from two to five days when they sleep after dinner. The fact is that Italian children are accustomed to relax before an evening walk, when (as soon as the heat subsides a little) their parents crawl lazily into the empty streets — watch others and show themselves.
Italians are surprisingly tolerant of children, even the most restless.
No matter what the child does, even if he is on his head, no one (and his parents) will say a word, because everyone understands perfectly well that he is really acting like a child. And those who are hampered by his behavior, would rather step aside a little, just smile sweetly at his antics than disturb any parent.
Many Italians give three-year-olds to kindergartens (scuola materna), where they have been preparing for school for three years. Children study in groups of 15–30 people according to the method of the famous worldwide teacher Maria Montessori. Every morning, the child chooses an occupation for himself which at this moment appeals to him.
For example, today the kid wants to water the flowers, another day – to sweep the floor, on the third – to look at the books. The child also decides whether he will do something alone or with others.
Gradually, children develop a sense of self-esteem, independence, and self-confidence, since they master all these simple adult skills completely independently.
In Italy, unlike in many other European countries, it is common to leave children with relatives, especially with grandparents. In the case when a child needs to be punished (because, despite permissiveness, young Italians also sometimes get from their parents), 71% of Italian parents in this case consider imposing restrictions the most effective, 32% prefer to scold their children, and 21% force them to do something that they don’t like.
Nevertheless, in extreme situations, 53% of parents in Italy admit that they resort to physical punishment, among them up to 63% are parents of young children and up to 40% are parents of teenagers.
Chinese traditions associated with the birth and upbringing of children are very different from European.
After the birth within a month, the mother and the child take special care. It is believed that the young mother should not often get out of bed, you need to move less, do not cut hair, do not eat certain foods, do not drink green tea, because they all have a cold nature.
All care and housework falls on the shoulders of female relatives.
Here, it is customary to give children in nurseries from an early age (sometimes even from three months), where they live by the rules of the team in full compliance with accepted norms.
Hard mode also gives its positive fruits: kids start to go to the pot early, sleep and eat strictly on schedule, grow obedient, in a rigid framework of once and for all established rules.
From a very young age, educators and parents are diligently engaged in the development of babies, and in this the Chinese are close to the Russians. Educational games and special programs, multiplied by the perseverance and obedience of the Chinese, can give great results!
Young children in Japan are allowed everything, but at the age of 5–6, the child falls into a very rigid system of rules and restrictions, which clearly dictate how to act in a given situation.
From early childhood, Japanese children are very free to choose their desires. A child in Japan almost never cries.
Of course, after all, his desires are immediately satisfied: up to 2 years, the mother wears him tied behind his back, he sleeps beside her, and his mother gives him a breast at any time. Even when the baby starts to walk, they almost do not let him off their hands.
Next to him is always his mother, grandmother, sisters, and from them he hears only warnings: “dangerous”, “dirty”, “bad”. These three words are firmly in his subconscious.
From our point of view, the Russian child is ideal, if he is obedient and disciplined, and in Japan, it turns out, children are incredibly pampered, they are not given a reason to cry! They almost do not prohibit anything until school age! The Japanese manage to completely ignore the bad behavior of children, as if unaware of it.
Raising a child here is like a threat of alienation: “If you behave in an inappropriate way, everyone will laugh at you, everyone will turn away from you.” And such a fear of being rejected, humiliated, excommunicated from an early age falls into the soul of a baby.
And since the lifestyle and even the lifestyle of a Japanese home is such that a person lives almost all the time in front of others, this threat acts seriously.
The period of “permissiveness” in a baby lasts only up to 5 years. Before this age, the Japanese treat the child “like a king”, from 5 to 12 years old – “like a slave”, and after 12 years – “like an equal.”
It is believed that a 12-year-old child is already old enough to clearly understand his responsibilities and unconditionally obey the rules. This is the paradox of the Japanese upbringing: a disciplined and law-abiding citizen grows out of a child who was allowed everything in his childhood.
In modern Russian education it is difficult to find a common, internally consistent idea, in the name of which this education would be carried out.
“In the Soviet Union, for example, such an idea was to educate a normative member of a communist society, instill in him a sense of collectivism and hard work. Now teachers doubt the need even of those qualities that, as it were, by inertia, and small children, and even more so teenagers, feel this inner contradictory attitude of teachers, – says clinical psychologist Anastasia Chembarisova. – So, for example, the teacher curses the child’s brazenly behaving with other children, and while drinking a cup of tea, surrounded by her colleagues, she expresses her encouragement: “If you don’t walk on your head, you won’t achieve anything in life.”
And the educational position of parents often also turns out to be internally contradictory, squeezed by the necessity, such as a mutually exclusive and very painful choice: to develop morality or the ability to provide for themselves and adapt already in capitalist society.
According to a survey by the Institute of Sociology, Russian Academy of Sciences, the majority of Russian parents today consider the education of children to be hardworking, perseverance, and physical development as the most important in the process of education. Well, when the maximum program is completed, in the opinion of moms and dads, it is necessary to cultivate independence and independence in a child, develop his intellect, cultivate respect for others, politeness, etc. According to Russians, only moms and dads are able to do so so that the child grows up hard-working (81% of respondents), responsible (72%), with good manners (63%) and tolerant of other people (60%). A little less than 50% believe that parents should teach children about thrift, 39% think that perseverance and determination are more important, and 34% of survey participants bring up independence in children.
At the end of the list of qualities cultivated at home are obedience (28%), disinterestedness (17%), imagination (15%) and religiosity (14%).
“The trust of our own children to the older generation can be partly explained by the fact that the transfer of children to grandmothers has developed historically,” says Anastasia Chembarisova. – Until the XXI century, many families lived together, engaged in the economy. Young parents had to do more work, and the children were looked after by the older children or by the grandmothers.
In Soviet times, it was socially disapproving to refuse help with grandchildren for the sake of some personal interests, which, by definition, had to fade before public ones. Significantly, the term maternity leave was small.
Many mothers simply did not have time to fully realize their maternal instinct and then made up and continue to catch up with their grandchildren. ”
At the same time, today’s Russian grandmothers are also quite active, sometimes they still work a lot. Yes, and modern mothers rarely stay long on maternity leave.
Therefore, the European approach with gardens and nannies is becoming increasingly relevant for us.
Almost half of Russian parents (45%) happened to punish their children. People of middle age (36–50 years) more often than the rest had to punish their child (approximately 57%).
Those who are younger (18–35 years old) are slightly different from the generation of their parents: 43% of people of this age have already started raising children, resorting to various kinds of punishments. Older people seem the most humane: only a third of them once punished their children.
Of all those who answered, children are more often punished (64%).