Главная 7 Child development 7 Daughter too painful experiencing a mistake “

Daughter too painful experiencing a mistake “

Daughter too painful experiencing a mistake

Your girl was jealous of the success of their classmates. In their success, she sees missed own opportunities.

After the children received awards, she began to regret what had happened.

Daughter is not upset that threw a circle. He was boring and uninteresting to her.

She regrets about the award, about the recognition of its surrounding. She regrets the missed opportunity to be approved by other people.

Earlier, when she was going to stop studying in a circle, you warned her that she might be upset if classmates received a reward. What was it connected with?

So that she had previously been in a similar situation and in the end was very worried about the missed opportunity to be awarded, or was it your opinion based on your own world perception and experience?

In the first case, we are dealing with cyclically repetitive events. In this case, your girl is ready to unconsciously miss the opportunity to be rewarded in order to subsequently suffer and regret the lost opportunity.

In this case, the starting thought can develop in two directions. Consider each of them. “It’s my fault.

In vain I refused to study. With such a position, the child takes responsibility for what happened.

Further, it can make the right conclusion and correct the situation, and may prefer the opportunity to suffer, to feel unhappy.

“Why don’t I get lucky?”, “What nasty children are lucky for them forever, but not for me?”, “My mom doesn’t love me, otherwise she wouldn’t let me leave the circle.” Any of the above thoughts indicates an infantile position, in which case the child does not take responsibility for his actions on himself, but looks for those guilty of his troubles, shifting responsibility for what happened to other people.

In the second case, the girl is upset because your prediction came true. And she had a feeling that she had failed you, could not meet your expectations, turned out to be a bad / unsuccessful daughter.

Any experience has two sides: conscious and unconscious. Consciously, she understands that bad has happened and this is sad. Unconsciously she has a need to be sad and worry about failure, to feel unhappy, unsuccessful, weak.

And perhaps it is in this position that you drop everything and try to help her, comfort her, support her, help. Perhaps you care about her, and she feels her worth to you.

This is her prize. If in such a situation you, on the contrary, scold your daughter, and are brightly colored, then she feels: “Yes, my mother is dissatisfied with me, but she loves me and for her I am important.”

It is also possible to conclude that my rewards are only important for my rewards … Thoughts may be different, but the essence is the same: your daughter doubts her own importance for you.

Let us return to your question: “What words did I need to pick up to help her survive the bitterness of a mistake? And I myself am worried that I didn’t insist then that she finish the job she started. ”

In such a situation, the words of support are important: “I understand you. You are now bitter. You regret what happened.

I love you. You are my best girl. ”

You are worried that you did not insist that the daughter continue to engage in an uninteresting business for her, in the hope of receiving encouragement and recognition in the form of a reward. Do you really care? If the daughter receives a reward, it means that you have raised a good daughter and, therefore, you are a good mother?

It seems that you, too, are still unconsciously seeking and waiting for praise and recognition from your mother.

Praise and hug the girl. Do not ask her to win. The main thing is her inner well-being and feeling of happiness.

Take it for granted. Let her be herself.

О admin

x

Check Also

Instapapa Andrei Kleverin: men’s secrets

– Many families of my peers fell apart over time, and they often asked me ...

Child’s immune system

Immunity provides the body with the ability to recognize and destroy foreign substances for it ...

Play on health! (games with a sick baby)

It happens that during the illness the pediatrician insists on bed rest. In this case, ...

Game moment

“Put the child in an empty room with a handful of acorns, and he will ...

Parents have come up with an original way to distinguish triplets

When we meet on the street mother, walking with twins, and I want to ask: ...

Play together

If the difference in the age of children is insignificant, they often play together and ...

The new family center CitYkids opens in the South-West of Moscow

CitYkids are family centers for parents and children from 0 to 7 years old, in ...

Toys for little girls

“Everything that a child masters in a game is useful for both boys and girls,” ...

Imperius! “Parent’s forbidden spell

When Zakhar was 6 years old and my youngest daughter was 4, I came up ...

Golden days (second trimester)

Although the first trimester is traditionally considered to be key, the importance of the next ...

A new cartoon about Cheburashka is coming out.

Cheburashka, the favorite cartoon hero of adults and children, whose life began with fantasy and ...

How to make a child with a stepfather

The smaller the child’s age, the sooner and more painlessly he will accept the replacement. ...

Neckline: how to care for her?

The neck and décolleté area need the same intensive care as the face. The skin ...

How to complete lactation?

1. How to wean a child properly in order not to harm its health? A ...

Take time to play

On the first birthday, crumbs want to buy the entire toy store. Toddler really became ...

The truth in milk: emotional intelligence and proper nutrition

This lesson has become one of many that, within the framework of the All-Russian Social ...

Getting to know the sandbox: the most frequent problems

It happens that everything happens in a completely different way than you expect. Instead of ...

Know the “enemy” in the face: poisonous plants near us

Our children are especially vulnerable when meeting with poisonous plants. How to resist in the ...

How does pregnancy affect vision?

During pregnancy, you should visit the oculist twice: in the first 3 months and shortly ...

Stroller

So, what you need to pay attention to. Type of folding: “canes” (they are also ...

When a child learns to walk

Nevertheless, most parents would like their children to take their first steps as soon as ...

Introducing baby with solid food: catch up to the first tooth

It is considered that the majority of babies are ready to get acquainted with food ...

No season “: how to eat vegetables in winter

In summer and autumn, we have the widest selection of fresh vegetables. So, starting from ...

Hunters for knowledge “in Masterslavl

Especially for the new school year, the children’s city of masters “Masterslavl” prepared for children ...