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Conflicts in the playground: how to help your child

Conflicts in the playground: how to help your child

Some children, with desperate cries, run for protection to mothers and grandmothers, others phlegmatically defend their interests with the help of bites and paddle defense. Some mothers and grandmothers, like eagles, are in constant tension, ready to fight for toys, honor, their interests and their child by any means.

Others sit in the shade on benches, demonstrating complete indifference to the battles taking place on the site. All visitors are different and, in one way or another, interact and exchange phrases, toys and mood with each other.

And if each mother helps her baby to build good neighborly relations with a little friend in the sandbox and herself demonstrates with her reactions the desire to guard this peaceful romp with a kind and cultural attitude to all those present, the playground will without a doubt turn into a safe haven where both children and for adults.

Possible reason for the conflict:
Confusion
The very first days on the playground for the kid are very difficult, he still knows absolutely nothing: what to do, why sand, why take his toys, who is the kid who pulls his typewriter to him (he wants to share it or just boasts his a toy?). At home, he is the most important, the most beloved, and here for the first time he must understand that his attitude towards people reflects on their relationship to him.

Mom to help the baby: Be constantly close, get acquainted together, involve the baby in the game (first with you, then with other children; if necessary, tactfully protect the interests of your child. At first, the child should not be left to himself: the rule of non-intervention is not yet works.

By the age of 3-4 years, the children themselves first settle the conflicts, and if they do not succeed, parents come to the rescue.

Possible reason for the conflict:
NORMAL FRIENDLY INTERACTION.
The playground is a school of correct behavior for kids, and there are a lot of inexperienced students in it. They are impulsive, do not tolerate restrictions, do not know how to find compromises, adhere to established rules and take into account the interests of others. Kids do not see the need to maintain friendly relations with other children.

Therefore, if one toddler upset another, pushing or unceremoniously borrowing a toy, do not be surprised if the distressed follow primitive instincts, biting, pinching or hitting the opponent on the head. All events can quickly replace each other: five minutes of crying – and again strong friendship and the continuation of the game.

Mom to help the baby: The main rule for moms: to intervene in the children’s game as little as possible. But this does not mean that you need to leave the child without attention. Look after the children’s game: if nothing serious happens, do not interfere.

Watch the rare short fights and reconciliation from the side, let the kids figure it out. If the kid trampled on someone else’s kulichik and got a scoop on the head for it, tell him that you can only dispose of what you built yourself, and kiss him in a sore spot, for a long time without focusing on the incident. Do not rush to run up to the children with their tips.

It happens that one child is trying to take away from another toy. You can intervene and say: “Give him a bucket, do not be greedy” – and right now he himself wants to make a couple of towers with him.
Or maybe you will say: “You cannot take a bucket from Dani, do you not see that he wants to play with him?”, And your little one by this time did not mind sharing it with a new friend.
But if your child is clearly unwilling to give up his toy, and the other kid is persistently pulling it out of his hands, then you really need to stand up to protect the interests of your toddler, making a remark to another’s crumb: “Ay-ah-ah! It’s impossible to select! ”Of course, fights and serious conflicts are easier to prevent before they break out.

Conflicts in the playground: how to help your child

Possible reason for the conflict:
LEARN TO SHARE AND ASK FOR PERMISSIONS.
You can not infringe on the interests of your child! Any child has the right to refuse his friend if he has views on his doll or typewriter; parents do not have to inspire the child with the fact that he is a greedy person.

Mom to help the baby: However, again, some mothers got one-sided benefit from this advice, jealously rushing every time to protect the property of their beloved offspring. Constantly taking care of the interests of the baby (someone pushed him, someone took his scoop, hesitated on the hill), they watch, instructing their own and disciplining others.

Such a kid learns not to communicate and build harmonious relations with the world, but to defend himself, to protect himself and his property.

Help your child decide whether he wants to give up his toy, conduct diplomatic negotiations. Perhaps the first impulse of your offspring will press your toy to your chest. But when he hears weighty arguments: “You will load sand into your dump truck, and Mitya will take it and unload it in that corner” or favorable conditions: “And Mitya will give you some time-and-half molds for you, and you and I will make delicious cakes” – quite possibly, his attitude will change.

And if your crumb for all attempts remained adamant, do not insist.

Let your child learn to negotiate and exchange toys with other children. If he still cannot speak well, do it for him and in his presence.

When leaving the site, politely ask the children to return your toys to you and return other people’s toys to their rightful owners, without fail to thank them for their generosity. When you are at home, try to use the following expressions more often: “mother’s bag”, “grandmother’s glasses”, “Danin’s chair”.

This will help the child to learn that each person has his own things and can only be taken by asking permission. If your baby picked up a toy from another child and he ran with tears to his mother, go to your baby and say: “This machine is very beautiful, but it is not yours, and before you take it, you must ask permission from its owner.

You see how upset the baby is, go return the car to him and apologize to him. ”

The child must understand that by asking permission to take a toy, you need to wait for an answer. Sometimes the kids just say: “Can we?” – and, without receiving permission, take the desired item and leave.

If another kid ran up and grabbed your child’s toy, stop the baby: “Did you ask Masha for permission?” As a rule, this is enough for such a crumb to return the toy or agree with the owner on your desire to play it. Help the bewildered child ask your daughter for permission: “Masha, can the boy take your ball?”.

Possible reason for the conflict:
BROKEN TOY.
Sometimes the toys break themselves, sometimes at the time of a serious experiment, and sometimes in the midst of childish angry.

Mom to help the baby: If a toy is broken due to the actions of your child, offer an equivalent replacement or try to fix it (if possible). Or, if this is acceptable to you, let me know that you are ready to compensate for the material damage.

Your willingness to settle a conflict will do you the honor and help the culprit in the trouble to learn good lessons.

Possible reason for the conflict:
NOTHING PERSONAL.
Often the kids are jostling and hitting each other, trying their growing strength, and even just out of curiosity, without any malicious intent. But the reason for this behavior may be accumulated aggression.

Mom to help the baby: If your child pushed or otherwise offended another child, be sure to apologize to the parents and the baby for it and make a remark to your child, just not too emotional. If your child often behaves aggressively towards other children, think about whether he is being treated too harshly at home.

Conflicts in the playground: how to help your child

Possible reason for the conflict:
ON THE HOOLIGAN AREA.
It happens that another kid offends your child.

Mom to help the kid: If a kid plays on the playground who beats other children, pushes on the slide, knocks the kids off the seesaw, you should definitely pay attention of his parents to the mischief in the correct form. If your child is beaten by another child and at the same time the offender’s parents do nothing to curb their offspring, you must do so. No need to punish and raise another child.

Say calmly: “I will not allow anyone to beat my son. Do not do that”.

Whatever the result, explain to your baby that this child is doing wrong and you need to stay away from him. If the bully is not straightened, the best way out will be to go to another site.

Quite often, the behavior of other children threatens not only calmness, but also our security. In the hands of the kids should not be dangerous items: sticks, syringes, stones, glass can cause serious injuries.

React immediately: if the child walking with a stick is on the playground with the mother, explain that such objects are dangerous for her child and other children. If your child finds such an item and plays it with enthusiasm, act without delay, remove the dangerous object not only from the children’s hands, but also from the territory of the playground.

The same can be said about the game with sand. If someone’s child throws sand at other toddlers, explain to them that this is not possible.

If the kid continues his game, ask his mother to take her child with another game until he learns to play calmly. Likewise, your baby should learn that no one is obliged to endure when they throw sand into his eyes and hair, and if he does not stop pranks, he will have to change the scope of his activity.

Possible reason for the conflict:
IT’S ALREADY NOT TO UNDERSTAND.
It happens that you did not notice how a peaceful childhood game turned into a fight; it is impossible to establish who is right and who is guilty; it is useless to explain something or read morality.

Mom to help the child: If the dispute has turned into a scandal and a fight, it is enough to separate the children, listen to the arguments of each child and help them end the conflict constructively, draw the necessary conclusions and, if necessary, apologize and support the end of the conflict with a handshake. Then you can switch the attention of children by proposing some interesting game.

When discussing what happened, talk about the feelings of each child, avoid negative characteristics using words such as “bad,” “greedy,” “ill-mannered.” In controversial situations, help find a way that suits everyone.

The consoling little things stuck in the saving bag are helping out ..

And another very important detail: never, under any circumstances, do not raise your hand either on your own or on someone else’s child. There is only one extreme measure – leaving the site if someone else’s child does not understand your words and the bully’s parent does not wish to rein in his child. Leave the site as well if your baby does not obey you and continues unacceptable behavior.

Decisive action will teach the baby more than screams and slaps.

Conflicts in the playground: how to help your child

IF NOT THE RIGHTS OF ANOTHER PARENT:
Adult conflicts, sadly, also occur on the playground. We adults, as a rule, already know what and when can unbalance us.

In case you see a couple drinking at a playground or an inadequately behaving mother (or her child), the best way out is to choose another playground. Do not want to leave?

So, you need to carefully choose the words and express your claim. Does not help?

Then collective intervention in the situation will help – an explanation of its position (of course, in a tactful manner) on behalf of the entire collective of the playground. The main condition for resolving any misunderstanding or a looming conflict is to resolve the issue in a civilized manner. There are several reasons for this:

  • Our behavior is an example for children.
  • All those present at the site, as a rule, are neighbors, which means that they have not been living side by side with each other for more than one year, and maybe even go to the same garden, school.
  • We ourselves do not always behave correctly, and also tomorrow we may find ourselves in an awkward position due to the act of our child.
  • If we carefully treat the human dignity of another and do not belittle his parental authority (after all, his child listens to what people say about mom and dad), then the chances of being heard are greatly increased. Insults force another adult to defend, rather than ponder a claim.

IF AN OTHER PARENT IS CLOSED FOR DIALOGUE:
Sometimes parents, whose children behave aggressively and unreasonably on the court, with their whole appearance demonstrate indifference to what is happening. In the eyes of such a parent is read: “Let them find out the relationship themselves” or “Once struck, it means it was for that.” If necessary, stand up for your child.

But your baby is waiting not only for your protection. He sincerely does not understand why another child is allowed to do something for which he himself would have been punished long ago. Explain to the troublemaker the rules of conduct on the playground: “You cannot fight.

Take away the toys badly. Come on, Yura will build his kuliki here, and you – on another plank. ” Usually, the little pranksters need one or two stern remarks.

Although it is possible that he will continue his tricks, looking at his mother’s deadpan look. In this case, either take your child away, or quietly stop the mischievous person’s actions (if he is fighting – stopping his swinging arm, if he pushes on the slide – restricting access to the top with the words “wait here until the other child rolls down”.

And no aggression, only mild relentlessness. Be sure, the naughty boy will soon get tired of confronting you, he will have two options: run to your mother for help or learn the general rules of behavior on the court.

WHEN YOUR CHILD MADE A NOTE:
No matter how wonderful your child may be, there is always someone who wants to give you advice on how to raise it, or finds it necessary to make a note to the child. Any child – yours, a stranger – may not notice someone, inadvertently push, want to do something differently. You should not react painfully if there is no aggression in the remark addressed to your child and it is appropriate.

The kid heard the adult, stopped the wrong behavior – leave this case unheeded, do not comment and do not add to your words your notation: you do not need to create adult coalitions against the kid.

If the child turned his gaze to you, at the moment when he was made a comment, just nod your head, so that the child understands that he needs to be corrected, and smile as a sign of approval if he did everything right.

You should not constantly defend, be suspicious or be offended. At the site there are different people.

If your child behaves too noisily, try not to walk with him in a place where mothers with babies sleeping in wheelchairs spend time. If your baby is wrong, teach him to be responsible for his actions and, if necessary, to apologize.

Do not indulge the child where he is clearly wrong.

INADMISSIBLE SITUATIONS:
Rudeness in relation to the child is unacceptable. If an adult shouts at your child, roughly grabs him or makes a remark, using offensive epithets (“bad”, “bully”, “shameless”), clearly and firmly ask him not to shout and move away from your baby. If your baby is clearly frightened, stand between him and the aggressive adult or take the baby in his arms.

Tell directly that you are against such behavior: “If my child has done something bad, contact me. But I will not allow you to scream at my child and, all the more, apply force to him! ”

At each site you can meet overly emotional and just grumpy people. On the same cases, stock up with short phrases: “Thanks for the advice. All the best “,” I do not share your point of view “,” Sorry, but we should go.

Goodbye, thank you. I will surely consider your comment. ”

Also, do not disregard if someone tries to feed a child without your knowledge: “Sorry, but the baby has not eaten lunch yet. We can’t take your treat. ”

At the same time maintain flexibility. Friendly and good-neighborly communication, a simple smile – all this creates a mood, teaches our children courtesy.

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