In the search for a compromise, delicacy is first and foremost important. The situation of divorce gives rise to many experiences, both in adults and in children.
You will be helped by an understanding of what your husband, his son, and you yourself may experience.
It is possible that the reaction of your husband can be explained by his concern for the psychological well-being of his son. After a difficult situation of divorce, the father seeks to make every effort to minimize the possible negative consequences for his son. A cozy nursery can be a kind of symbolic gift-apology father.
Maybe this is why it is so important for your husband to concentrate on organizing space for your son in your common home. Apparently, while he is not ready to reflect on how to deal with the division of children’s space in the case of your pregnancy.
However, your anxiety about the reaction of the child, from whom the nursery is suddenly taken away, is quite understandable. In the life experience of your husband’s son, there have already been events that led to dramatic changes in his usual way of life – the divorce of parents.
An unexpected reorganization of the room, which the boy will consider his own, for the needs of another baby, can revive his memories and experiences of the divorce situation. This can lead to the psychological distress of the child.
That is why it is better to speak with children all significant events.
The solution to the problem can be a joint discussion of the arrangement of the future nursery, taking into account the possible appearance of another child in the family. Your husband’s son may take part in the design and immediate arrangement of a children’s room for two children.
In such a situation, the boy will feel that his opinion is important both for his father and for you, he will receive confirmation of his own value for all adults in the family. A discussion with the child of arranging a child’s room will allow adults to find out what the boy dreams about, what may disturb him in this situation, what he pays attention to, and what is not very significant for him.
This is a good reason for adults to share with the child their expectations, plans and ideas about the future and the present. It is possible that when developing a future children’s design project, it is important to try to organize the space so that when the baby’s birth time comes, the room furnishings would allow an easy transformation of the room to the needs of two children of different ages.
It is important that, regardless of the gender of the unborn child, the children could feel comfortable in it.
Simple techniques can help in solving this task: choosing neutral colors in the setting, unobtrusive zoning of the room space, organizing the main bed for a boy and an additional one, taking into account his possible replacement. For example, it may be a small sofa, which, if necessary, can easily be replaced with a bed for the baby.
This approach will allow to solve several very important tasks at once. Firstly, the minimal modernization of the room will make this process most comfortable for the boy (the usual situation will not change much, the boy will know in advance what changes will occur in the room). Secondly, you and your husband will be able to calculate in advance the possible costs of change.
The skill of group discussion will allow both adults and the boy to clearly formulate their desires and plans, and will also contribute to the acquisition of a new experience of interaction with each other.