At first it seemed funny to you – to watch how your baby refuses from the morning bottle of milk and demands a cup of cereal and a spoon. So her older sister has breakfast. You were pleasantly amazed when you heard how she, without a single mistake, rattled over the alphabet that her sister began to teach in school.
But in the end, what’s so surprising? She is literally following her sister.
Of course, she is making quick progress in mastering what her elder spent much more time. Catching up with a sister, being all in all like her is the main goal of the baby, and she is trying very hard.
Therefore, there is nothing strange that she succeeds in this.
Often, when you have several children of the same sex in your family, you offer them the same games and activities and dress them almost the same. In the end, they become like each other like two drops of water!
And then, when the younger one becomes independent much faster – he eats and dresses without your help, it makes your life much easier.
Until some time, your baby imitated only mom and dad. But now she realized that her older sister is a much more appropriate model to follow. They spend a lot of time together, and this brings them even closer together.
The younger one does not want to fall behind the older one in anything, she is interested in all the activities and hobbies of the “adult” sister. “When Alice makes several dance moves, trying on a new skirt, you can be sure that in a few seconds Polina will repeat them,” the girls mom laughs. The period of imitation is important for the development of the child, but only if he is not too long. To learn something new, a child needs samples, but it is also important that he manifests his individuality.
Be prepared for the fact that the younger quickly learns not only new skills, but also bad habits after the older ones. And pick them up to the smallest detail. “Nikita always adored green beans. But it cost Anton one evening at the table to move a plate away from him, as he said that he no longer loves her.
And to convince him in no way impossible, – complains mother of boys. “He repeats everything after his brother, both the best and the worst.”
Your youngest will not always be small. At some point, he will understand that you can do without a model to follow.
He already knows and knows so much, he has got his own interests and preferences. The kid increasingly feels that his brother takes away the love of his parents from him, and no longer looks at him with endless adoration. Now it’s his turn, he wants to be the same as his elder brother, but only better to win first place in your heart!
That’s when the real difficulties begin. Of course, the baby can quickly learn something from an older child.
But there are activities that will be really difficult for him, for example, to read a book in bed before bedtime. The bar is too high and the baby starts to get angry. As for your elder, if earlier he was proud that he was set as an example, and he felt great in the role of an adored brother, a role model, now he is trying to get rid of this clone, which copies it in everything.
He is annoyed that the younger one repeats everything he says, his Lego designer takes it to build the same tower, asks to buy him the same toys, tell the same fairy tale … Moreover, he indignantly notices that you don’t mind imitation or at least it makes you interested. And to top it all, if a quarrel occurs, he is always guilty: “You are already big, you have to set a good example.”
Suddenly it turns out that being a senior is not fun at all. On the contrary, the little brother, who has already taken up a lot of space in your life, continues to win more and more space.
Idylls end, children constantly shout, quarrel, jealous. This couple is driving you crazy!
- “Your sister draws well. And you too. Show me what you can paint yourself. ”
- “You don’t have to play with your sister if you don’t want to.” Just politely tell her about it. “
- “Tell me what toys you like and with what you want to play with right now.”
Being too zealous in imitating a brother or sister, the younger person does not sufficiently display his own personality and runs the risk of missing some important stages of development. The more we appreciate the differences between children, the more we give the younger a chance to gain self-confidence and stop identifying with the elder. Each child has his own personality, his own strengths, and they need to be encouraged.
The smaller the age difference among children, the more important it is: each child should maintain a sense of the uniqueness of his world perception, behavior, abilities. Let the children choose their classes to taste, even if it would be more convenient for you to take them to the same studios and sections. Emphasize that the elder has some advantages over the younger, for example, allow him to read longer in the evenings and not to turn off the lights in the room.
Spend some time with each child separately. They should be able to speak with their parents, affirm before them without influence, sometimes too obsessive, brother or sister. Offer children different activities: while the older one is watching TV in the living room, the younger one can draw in the kitchen.
Of course, completely avoid disputes will not succeed, but still your efforts will not pass in vain.