Friday parent’s meeting. The place is a kindergarten.
OK. Time: 18.30. Good.
Condition: without child. Uh-uh … And what should I do with the baby?
Leaving her to walk on the playground while we adults discuss everything? ”-“ And I don’t have the persistent feeling that there’s not 60 minutes in an hour, but 30. You say: maybe it’s true that I’ve given birth to my second child has changed? The transition to winter time was canceled – suddenly, and the time was reduced?
Otherwise, why am I not in time? The floor is covered with flakes of dust, unwashed dishes piled up in the sink, and children’s things are scattered everywhere. ” This is not a talk over a cup of tea or at the sandbox; it is the posts of young mothers on their blogs addressed to other similar mothers.
Women who have never seen each other, but who regularly exchange funny, funny or touching stories about their lives.
When I gave birth to my first child almost 10 years ago, the phenomenon of “mother on the Internet” only gained momentum. Personal blogs have not yet been – more and more conferences and forums.
It was so interesting and great: to find out that you are not alone, that someone also gets very tired, is not getting enough sleep and is very, very worried when the child doesn’t cocoa for the second day. I did not register in any communities and did not attend forumchanok meetings, but even simple reading of various discussions supported in difficult times or entertained when I wanted to relax.
It was something like a fascinating and useful newspaper: new notes appeared daily, while almost all of them concerned me and the child personally.
“Now, when young families often live separately from their parents, and sometimes in other cities, forums and blogs replace the newly-made mother of grandmother-aunts and other experienced educators,” says 29-year-old Alena, an economist by education. She and her husband moved to Moscow from Izhevsk, and when their son was born, Alena disappeared for hours on the mother forums. The experience of many generations, which was previously transmitted directly, word of mouth, is now transmitted via high-speed cable.
And we are talking about all the same, proven over the centuries, recipes and tricks. For example, on the Internet regularly, someone tells how to make a home-made curd for babies.
And sometimes, on the contrary, super-modal trends are discussed in blogs, which no grandmother knows for sure.
In February 2009, I had a real postpartum depression. A nanny helped with the child, and my grandmother was in the wings, but I was still constantly depressed.
Once I read that, if it’s really bad, you need to get away from the child and do something: play the guitar, cross-stitch, learn Hindi — anything, but it should be new and interesting to you personally. I already had a blog: I created it to show photos of my baby to my family and friends, and then I got the idea to write funny photo captions.
As a result, the captions to the pictures gradually turned into little texts without any photos, and I realized that I was keeping a real blog that had readers! And another thing: writing down my daily chronicles, I realized that you can make everything (or almost everything) funny, tell it like an anecdote.
It depends on the point of view – we must try to look at what is happening from the side. So I recovered from my depression.
Maria, 28 years old, mother of 2-year-old Nastya
Like Alain, many women one day decisively rushed into the abyss, that is, into the web of the Internet. Some started blogging as soon as they got pregnant, others – after leaving work on maternity leave, and others started to do it after the birth of a child.
But the desire of everyone is the same: to tell about themselves, to talk about how they live, to communicate with other young mothers, to share their emotions and experiences with them.
“A blog is a kind of personal, intimate diary, but an important feature! – it is conducted specifically in order to be read by other people, – psychologist Margarita Ivanchenkova explains. – We post our intimate experiences on the blog that we really want to share with someone who is in a similar situation, who reminds us. Or it seems that it reminds me – simply because he shared something intimate with us. ” With the advent of the Internet, any statement can really bring the whole world – while remaining invisible.
Having reliably hidden behind the monitor, young mothers say that they would never say in real life. That they are terribly tired to depend on the child and his mood.
What can no longer endure this monotonous mode. They are angry at their husbands, because they fly around the offices all day long, and their wife has nowhere to go, except for the dairy kitchen.
And that even the thought of the second child now seems blasphemous.
Does communication on the Internet with people like it help them to experience difficulties? Or, on the contrary, it bothers you: after all, while mom is writing to her blog, she could, for example, run a stroller through the park, wipe fresh vegetable puree rich in vitamins, or, in the end, sleep an extra hour! “The first time, when the baby sleeps poorly and often eats, you can go crazy!
But when I shared this, it turned out that all mothers experienced this. I realized that I was not alone.
And that I am normal! ”Laughs 27-year-old Yana, recording almost every day everything that happens to her and her one and a half year old son. “Statements on the Internet remind a little of how a person who finds himself on a deserted island throws a bottle into the sea: he does not know who will pick it up, but he believes and waits to be heard,” continues the psychologist. And about the time lost, which could have been spent for the benefit of the child and her own health, all blogger mothers are unanimous: it’s not a pity for such time.
According to them, blogging brings both confidence in their maternal abilities, and a lot of advice and recommendations on child care, gives a feeling of friendly support and a pleasant feeling that they understand you – so there is a sheer benefit.
“The desire of a young mother to share what is happening is no news for anyone. But there have been fundamental changes in the way of life: the geographical removal of a young family, and the generational gap between the current parents and their parents, and the lack of a clear system of relationships in society – it turns out that it is not always easy to find someone with whom you can discuss everything, says French psychologist and sociologist Jean Epstein. – Due to the rise in housing prices and the appearance of distant work, we see many families with small children living where they do not know anyone. My passion for blogging demonstrates the strong isolation of a large number of young mothers. ”
But young mothers do not share such a pessimistic point of view and seem to be quite pleased. Those with whom we talked consider blogging to be such an interesting activity that it is difficult to do without it when circumstances force us to take a break in virtual creativity.
My blog was born 3 years ago – at the same time as my son. My sister gave birth at about the same time. We often called each other, told each other our day in the smallest details, after which, it happened, we came to the conclusion that having a child is not always such a cloudless happiness.
And they decided: we should not be alone, we must unite with other mothers! The idea was to mix everything in a blog: information (this is my profession, I am a journalist), advice and stories about children.
Initially, to get things going, I spent a phenomenal amount of time on the blog! I searched for interesting things on the Internet, wrote topics and wrote new posts every day.
But I needed a blog – in order to ease internal tension. To decide to say: “Today, the child has finished me.”
Or: “He has been crying for several hours, and I am lying on the couch and crying too.” We all went through it, and such statements do not make us useless mothers!
I have a small group of loyal readers who regularly send messages, but we have never met. I prefer to stay in the shadows and do not post any photos or photos of the child on the blog.
But after I went to work, I don’t have time to regularly update my blog, however, it’s hard for me to completely abandon it.
Valeria, 32, mother of 3-year-old Timofey
It also happens that something noticeable grows out of an ordinary maternal blog: either a very successful blog, or an author column in an offline edition, or even a book. But the writing abilities of an unsuspecting woman are not found every day: most of the popular bloggers worked with the word, most often in journalism, even before the start of Internet activities.
For such female workers, the “maternal” blog is both a place for self-realization, and at the same time a good way to keep fit on parental leave. And this rule works both for us and abroad.
The brightest event on the Russian Internet is Ekaterina Velikina, known in LiveJournal as katechkina. In her blog, she so wittily described the sitting at home with her little son that she gained 15 thousand readers.
Then she was offered to publish excerpts from the blog in the form of a book, and now Catherine heads the magazine for young mothers.
Frenchwoman Isabelle before birth worked in a magazine dedicated to IT-technologies. Having given birth to a second daughter in 2007, she started her own blog, which today reads more than 1,000 people a day. Isabel says that she dreamed of a real creative space: “The heading ideas have long been spinning in my head, and as for the technical side, I used ready-made modules for blogs.
And she drew a banner, which later improved. And everything started spinning! The blog seemed to me an ideal means of self-expression — something between a diary and a novel, which I will never finish anyway.
I can say for sure: after you start a blog and gain readers, life changes. Instead of being nervous about something, you think: “Oh, a beautiful story for a blog – there will be something to discuss!” For example, once I left a few banknotes on the table, and the children cut them into strips. So, instead of exploding from anger, I ran after the camera – to capture this disgrace and put it on the blog! ”
The capture of Internet moms by young moms has been going on for a long time, and blogs are not getting smaller — on the contrary, more and more of them are born. It would seem that abundance leads to satiety, maternal experiences can be annoying – first of all to readers, but no, their number also increases.
In addition, after the appearance of smartphones, iPhones and other devices that allow you to connect to the Internet everywhere, mom-bloggers can send messages even from the playground or from the queue at the clinic. And traveling, they can conduct real online reports from various interesting places.
However, parent blogs lurk other dangers. Often they fade after women stop living solely the life of a child: for example, they go to work.
Sometimes my mother just runs out of interest, sometimes just not enough time to blogging.
But even if everything turned out well and my mother is ready to take care of and maintain her “child” for many years, does such a blog have a future? What happens when the child grows up: will he not mind his words and deeds being put to the public?
After all, the classmates, friends and foes will be able to read the blog – will the student like it? So far no one knows – only now a generation of children is growing up, whose life has been laid out on the Internet since infancy.
We will – see.