Perhaps your ideas about the perfect pastime in the fresh air with a child do not coincide too much with everyday objective reality. This is how our little ones are arranged, that they are not satisfied with stately walks by the hand.
Why on the street children do not behave the way we would like, and how to keep the number of conflicts to a minimum?
Your baby is delighted with the very fact of leaving the house. It is not so important where you are going – to the nearest yard to swing on a swing or to the supermarket for groceries, pay for an apartment or visit a grandmother – the child is boiling with energy. You have already been tortured by this ability not to stop for a minute, to constantly run somewhere, to drop everything and touch with your hands what he could not drop.
You are tired of answering endless questions. You would simply prefer the child to stay at home and give you the opportunity to do all the planned things without fuss. Otherwise, you can not concentrate again and again, but only do what you catch, shake off, pull back, call for silence and apologize to others.
But the baby asks him to take it with him, promising to behave well.
What to do? Clearly define the rules and stipulate them in advance. “There is a danger of getting lost in a big store, so either sit in a cart or hold onto it”; “You can’t touch other people’s dogs – they can bite”; “Next to the road and at the pedestrian crossing we go only by the hand with the mother.”
Before leaving the house, choose a time when the baby is calm and able to perceive information, and calmly explain what behavior you expect from the child: “There will be a lot of people and cars on the street. Please try to listen to what I am telling you, do not disturb others, and remember that it can be dangerous. ”
Remind that everything has its time: at home or on the playground, a child can make noise and have fun as much as he wants, and on the street and in shops you will have to be obedient and control your behavior. Of course, all these conditions you must repeat an infinite number of times over the months and years, but sooner or later your patience will be rewarded.
Give the child a task in advance: for example, count the red cars or remember which dogs you met on the way. Remind of a task and enjoy a five-minute silence.
A shrill screech of your baby will be recognized by all the neighbors. He is naughty in the middle of the street and tries to lie down on the asphalt, he argues with you for any reason and shouts that he is no longer small. And you just asked him to leave two tanks at home and confine himself to a bulldozer and a concrete mixer.
The request “Give me your hand, there is a road ahead” causes stormy indignation, and the proposal to sway on the swing of the younger brother is a shout that he does not want to have anything in common with his brother. The sharing of toys in the sandbox is rampant.
What to do? Be logical and consistent in the explanations: the one who screams, squeals and rolls, it is physically difficult to hear and understand, much less help him.
Firmly ask the child to clearly tell what bothers him. Promise to solve this problem and do not forget to fulfill your promise: toys can go for a walk with you in turn, and the younger brother can take part in an interesting game for everyone.
And in the end, do not use the phrase “You are still too small to …” But still show him that there are more and more adult children around, who go with their parents by the hand and do not consider this to be something terrible.
Before entering the lively playground, once again speak the rules to the child: “You cannot run, fight and take away someone else’s; if you really want something, you have to say it first, and not cry. ”
At home, before the walk, ask the child to give you a sign if he wants to shout: for example, raise his hand higher or stick out his tongue. Practice together.
Usually, at the beginning of the shopping trip, everything is going pretty well: the child calmly walks beside you, not whining and not asking to quickly finish the event. But after 5–10 minutes, the baby’s behavior changes dramatically: it gets bored. This means that you can run from your mother, hide among the cans of green peas, or crawl around on freshly washed floors.
And you can also ask every half-minute: “Mom, is everything already?” Of course, you can understand him: there is nothing exciting about buying napkins and ham. All this against the background of queues and the need not to forget anything strongly affects your nerves.
What to do? To avoid such a development, give your child the opportunity to fully participate in the process: carry a bag with valuable contents, choose your breakfast cereal or pick up a cart.
At the checkout, ask him to put the products. The kid will feel really useful and forget about his displeasure and desire to run around the store.
Assign the child to the main shopping trip today. Let him get ready at home: find out what products to buy, write or draw a list of necessary, and in the store will take control of purchases and command the packing of products.
He was just here, and now … This can happen anywhere: the child first ran out of the doorway or decided to consider something in the store without warning you. It is especially difficult to follow his movements if you have to deal with a younger child at the same time.
You are already seriously thinking about the signal chip, so as not to flinch every time, again without finding its top near.
What to do? Did you find him?
Keep calm. Of course, it is possible to scold, but try to find a balance between your own emotions and a confident explanation of why this can never be done.
When the first stress subsides, explain in detail the reasons for your anger: “Staying alone in an unfamiliar place is dangerous”; “You can not get out of the car first – so you can get under the other cars.” In any case, when your child is at risk because of disobedience, you need to react to it.
In a situation when you are forced to distract from a child, for example, pay for purchases or fill out a receipt, ask him to sing a song or tell a poem as loud as possible – it will be easier to track his movements. Enter the “rule of a train”: enter the elevator and exit the entrance, only holding each other, and the most responsible goes first (of course, this will be your baby) and points the way.
On the street, the child asks for kinder surprises, candy and chips, in the store – coloring, typewriter. You would not mind to please him, but, firstly, you have your own plans, and secondly, I would not like to encourage nagging and greed.
What to do? Discuss the plan of the walk in advance and in detail. Plan your expenses with your child: “We have money for the necessary products, we will buy everything and check: if something remains, we will be able to choose something more tasty for everyone.”
If possible, carry something to eat with you for a walk: a dryer, a sliced apple or a bag of juice. It is possible that the baby really got hungry, and the bright wrappers in the window heightened the feeling of hunger.
Highlight one day a week to buy something pleasant to choose from while walking, but limit the amount. If the baby is not yet familiar with the numbers, he will have to help him compare the available amount of money and the price of the desired: “We have 30 rubles, these candies cost 10 rubles, and stickers – 25, what do you like more?”
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