General readiness for kindergarten depends on what kind of life a baby leads and what skills it has.
– Talk with the observant pediatrician about the child’s adaptive abilities – the story of his pre-natal life, birth and early years is of considerable importance here. Psychological readiness of the small can be assessed by a child psychologist through a test of readiness for kindergarten and personal contact.
How your baby knows how to manage aggression in dealing with children and adults; how he perceives separation from his mother or grandmother; are you ready to follow the rules and do what the teacher asks; how jealous of their toys. “In many kindergartens, the psychologist takes the children to the group,” says Anna Pryanniknikova, a psychologist-consultant at the Center for Psycho-Correction, Social Adaptation and Enlightenment. – Playing with a child, he makes up an idea about his level of development and skills. Based on the information collected, the psychologist makes recommendations on the selection of toys for the group. ”
To obtain information about the psychological and behavioral problems of the child, psychologists use drawing techniques to work with children older than 4 years. Drawing is a kind of speech, through which a child conveys a fragment of his experience or knowledge.
This “speech” is usually addressed to adults. The plot, the quality and colors of the drawing matter: most often children draw good things neatly, with bright “warm” colors, and bad things carelessly, dark “cold” ones.
Pictures of children under 4 years of age are less informative – in this case, game techniques, such as finger and role-playing, are effective in which the child is asked the question: “Let’s play: who will you be?”, That is, they offer to choose their own hero. In such games, children usually model the situations that occupy them, bother them.
It should be noted that the psychologist works not only with the child, but also with the parents, because the child’s problem may be related to them.
– Psychologists advise a child who is very attached to the mother gradually, carefully and long before the kindergarten, teach the mother to be independent according to the scheme “the mother will leave now, but she will definitely return (in how many minutes, at what time of the day), and when she returns, the child and mother will do something interesting (description of a specific occupation) “. One should not even try to “separate” the baby from the mother shortly before the start of kindergarten: he may decide that his mother no longer loves him.
– It makes sense to place the baby to the teacher and children. The assurances of love are reassuring, and a simple, understandable and positive attitude to communicate with other children, to new games and toys arouses interest.
“Many psychologists still hold the opinion that logical arguments to a child of 3 years of age are incomprehensible,” believes Anna Pryanichnikova. – The main motivation, in my opinion, is the interest in children, which occurs in a child at the age of 3, the interest in toys. No need to “loop” the baby at the upcoming change in his life.
No need to say that mom does not want to part with him, but so necessary. You can use the “we will go to kindergarten together” filing scheme – it will not frighten the child, unlike the “you will go” scheme.
There are simple techniques that help you understand what is really happening with a child:
1. Ask. The child is not always the first to speak about the reluctance to go to kindergarten. Finding out how he feels in the kindergarten, and finding out the reasons for difficult adaptation is possible by leading questions that are not in the wording of the supposed negative answer.
The wrong question will be: “Are you there (not) hurt?” Or “Is the teacher (does not) hurt you?” If you received a negative answer to the correctly formulated question “Do you like (good) in kindergarten?”, Ask your child questions that imply story (“Why?”, “What do you (not) like?”). Be interested in the little things of the kindergarten life of a child: “Who are you friends with?”, “What did you do today?”, “Do you like the teacher?”, “And what teacher do you like?” Accompany each question suggesting “Why?”
2. Listen. When a child talks about his day, go into the story.
If a baby asks about something that surprises you, it may mean that a situation has arisen that worries him.
3. Communicate. Daily communication with the child helps to prevent many conflict situations. If stress occurred, it is better not to focus on the child’s attention.
Speech, in particular, about the experience associated with pain, with an accidental non-serious injury. Otherwise, the family risks instilling in the child an excessive fear of pain or facing further manipulation.
4. Explain. It is not necessary to fix the child on his wrong behavior: for example, if the kid learned bad words in the kindergarten, he behaved ugly.
Simply explain that you don’t need to say or act this way.
5. Watch. Pay attention to the games and drawings of the baby, analyze the changes in his character.
A serious stressful situation in any case manifests itself in behavior.
– Encourage communication with other children, start to go together to the children’s “university” or club, to the development center, where the child will be able to gradually understand the laws of communication with “alien” children and adults. In 1979, French psychotherapist Francoise Dolto opened in Paris La Maison Verte (Green House) – a free club for children from 0 to 4 years old and their parents, which gives the child the opportunity to socialize and prepare him for kindergarten. Children come there whenever they want – they are not registered, but only record the name and age of the child, the family status of the accompanying person.
Among the “host” (psychologists, pediatricians and educators) there is necessarily a man. The staff changes frequently so that the “receiving” world view is not imposed on the kids.
Preparing a child for kindergarten occurs in the process of normal communication with the “host” and other guests. The games that are held in the club are aimed specifically at communication, and not at specific development. “Green houses” give the opportunity to communicate and parents.
“Another option,” suggests Anna Pryanichnikova, “is to enroll a child in classes in a children’s developmental center: children of 1.5–2.5 years old come there with their parents, and when the kids are addicted to the game, the parents gradually“ turn off ”from it, and then and go out the door. That is, the mother is near, but the child learns to play with other children and do without her for a while. If he asks where mom is, they bring him to her.
Weaning of the child from the constant mother’s presence should be carried out very carefully – first in a familiar environment, at home. In an unfamiliar environment, this can be done when the child has already learned a little to “let go” of the mother.
In 43 countries of the world (in Europe, Asia, Africa and America) there are Waldorf kindergartens and schools that first appeared at the beginning of the 20th century in Germany in Stuttgart at the Waldorf-Astoria factory. Waldorf pedagogy was formed on the basis of the philosophy of Rudolf Steiner.
Its main idea is to take into account the biological, social and spiritual patterns of human development, focus on the child’s personality, regardless of his nationality, religion, age, social status and level of development.
One of the features of Waldorf schools and gardens is uneven-age groups that allow children to try on several social roles. It is assumed that in groups of different ages, adaptation and development are facilitated, as there is no stress of competition (the only driving force of development in peer groups).
Older and younger children are actively communicating, elders by their example teach younger children and are actively developing themselves in this protective role.
“Children of different ages have different tasks, they play and communicate in different ways. I think communication with older children should still be not constant, but episodic, and most of the time the child should be carried out in a peer society. After all, a kid who does not want to do something at all, is drawn into cognitive activity only because he sees the result from a peer sitting next to him. “
Competition in this case becomes a stimulus.
– If possible, put the child in the same group as your peer friends. During the adaptation period, spend time with him in the garden and take him home as soon as possible.
“If a mother chooses a motivation scheme,“ we are going to kindergarten with you, ”it is assumed that the mother actually enters the child into the group,” explains Anna Pryanichnikova. – The first time she is physically next to the crumbs, leads to the children, involves in the game. As it adapts, it gradually moves away in the literal sense of the word: moves a few steps further, and then goes out the door.
2-3-year-old children do not focus attention on the participation of someone’s mother in their communication, and the 4-year-old child is no longer so necessary for her proximity, he quickly masters and better understands the explanations ”.
– How quickly the baby will become comfortable in kindergarten depends largely on the ability to fall asleep independently, wash and dress, eat at the common table (including in the children’s team), eat lunch in about half an hour without being distracted. Learn the daily routine at a particular kindergarten.
It is necessary to go over to this schedule and the diet in advance (2 months ago), smoothly shifting the time. If until now the day was planned depending on the desires of the child, now you need to get used to the regime.
– Experts advise less often to encourage the child with sweets and snacks, because this will not happen in the kindergarten. It is important to begin to make a children’s diet in accordance with the menu and caloric content of a particular institution (in some, for example, such an innovation as vitaminized nutrition has appeared). You need to enter into the diet a variety of soups, side dishes, vegetables, drinks; alternate meals regardless of the child’s addiction; do not overfeed him, so that in the garden he did not feel hungry.
Pay attention to whether the baby eats well from a spoon and fork, drinks from a mug, whether it has lost the habit of having a bottle and nipple.
– The ability to tell an adult about ailments, use a potty and report on the need to visit the toilet – these are fundamentally important skills for a kid who is going to kindergarten.
– Specify whether children are forced to eat food, etc. Make contact with the teacher, talk to him about your child, introduce them. Tell us about the character and habits of the baby, about what products he does not like.
– Think in advance about taking children’s multivitamin preparations, minimize the load on the child’s nervous system, save the baby from overwork and strong emotions.
In the life of the baby, crossed the threshold of the kindergarten, significant changes occur. Separation from the mother, communication with a lot of strangers, the collision with the rules to be followed is stress.
And it is not surprising that the child consciously and unconsciously seeks an opportunity to return to the previous situation or adapt to the new. Adaptation is a natural reaction to changing conditions.
It can take a variety of forms. And you should not be surprised that the baby has become irritable, aggressive, whining, his appetite has decreased or the quality of sleep has worsened.
On this psycho-emotional background and physical health is vulnerable. “I went to the garden and began to get sick often” – sometimes the reason for this becomes not banal contact with viruses, psychosomatic manifestations of the child’s reluctance to go there, ”says Anna Pryanichnikova. It is believed that easy development there takes several weeks and dispenses with ailments.
Moderate adaptation lasts longer than a month, during this period probably a mild disease without complications. Prolonged (more than 3 months) habituation, accompanied by frequent diseases, requires the help of specialists and / or finding alternatives to kindergarten.
It is not necessary to set up a child negatively, to form in him the image of a kindergarten as a place with which he is punished. Parents should reconsider their attitude towards kindergarten and stop discussing the problems of the institution with their children.
“There are different opinions, but according to my observations, up to 3 years old, a child needs one person who explains to him the rules and norms, values, requirements; gives a certain standard of behavior, – says Anna Pryanichnikova. – It is difficult for a kid to perceive this information from different people: he cannot understand what is right and what is wrong. A 1-2-year-old child needs a mother, love, care, comfort.
At the age of 3, when he begins to say “I myself,” he already has independence, a desire to communicate, and interact with other children. ”
– Kindergartens are ideologically focused on teaching a child independence, obedience and etiquette, interpersonal skills. Explain how to find a “middle ground” between your wishes and the comfort of others; learn to look at the interlocutor.
– In Japan, babies usually come to kindergartens at 4 years old. At the age of 3, this is possible if parents need to go to work.
There are kindergartens for even one-year-old babies, but in general, in Japan, it is not recommended to separate a child from a mother so early: such “nurseries” exist precisely as a way out in special cases – in order to arrange a child there, you need to indicate really good reasons in the statement.
– If financial opportunities allow, Japanese parents seek to enroll a child in a kindergarten at a prestigious university, as the continuity of education and employment guarantees a graduate of an elite kindergarten to receive high-paying work many years later. Competition is somewhat tense relationship between children and their parents.
It is even known about a crime committed on the basis of competition for a place in an elite kindergarten.
– As in other educational structures of Japan, in kindergartens a year is divided into three semesters, between which there is a vacation. During the holidays, children can go to the kindergarten to talk with their teacher or to the pool (much attention in the Japanese kindergarten is given to the child’s physical development and health – suffice it to say that the main holiday in the kindergarten is Physical Education Day).
– Groups in Japanese kindergartens are heterosexual, small (6–8 people). For their group, children choose the name themselves – in this way, caregivers teach them to make a decision.
Difficulties of adaptation in kindergarten are not always associated with the problems of children’s personality and upbringing. Much depends on the level of the institution, its customs and staff qualifications.
What is the principle of parents choosing a kindergarten: “not far from home”, “there was a place”? Kindergarten is different, and it does not always depend on its status (municipal, departmental, commercial, home).
Before you take the documents to a specific institution, it is useful to collect information about the “track record” of the institution and parental reviews.
Another aspect of the topic is the system on which the kindergarten works, a bias towards early development or learning a foreign language. After all, each method has “pluses” and “minuses”.
“The choice between simple supervision and the development of a child in kindergarten depends on the wishes of the parents,” says Anna Pryanishnikova. “But delicate gaming developmental techniques help relieve emotional and muscular tension; reduce impulsiveness, excessive motor activity; develop memory, attention, speech, imagination, general and fine motor skills. The fact that the child will receive in the first 3 years of life is a kind of “foundation” of his development. For example, why does a child need finger games?
Training fingers improves the areas of the brain responsible for speech. Developed fingers – this is a neat letter and correct articulation.
Learning foreign languages in kindergartens? In this matter, it is necessary to take into account the opinion of linguists who recommend starting to learn another language after the child speaks his native language well (not lisping, makes sounds correctly and clearly), that is, 6–7 years old. Having not fully mastered the phonetic features of his language, the child may confuse sounds and pronunciation in a foreign language.
There is such a risk even when the baby is already fluent in Russian: if the parents notice a regression in the child’s speech skills, it is better to postpone the learning of the new language. ”