Does this mean that all extremely restless kids are potential carriers of this syndrome, abbreviated to ADHD? Far from it.
And it is practically meaningless to talk about this disorder for at least four to five years.
Difficulties with concentration of attention – a key component of ADHD – will truly manifest themselves when children begin, albeit in a playful way, to learn something. And they have to become more focused. “But our child perfectly knows how to concentrate!
He loves cartoons and fiddles with puzzles, ”parents disagree. Indeed, such children can easily do something for a relatively long time, but only if the occupation is really pleasant and interesting for them.
As soon as it will be necessary to straighten up, listen carefully and do something not so exciting, say, learn letters or numbers, they flatly refuse to do it.
In addition to the inability to concentrate, children are impulsive, and it is not easy to negotiate with them. In response to a request to do something or not to do it – they shout, cry, sometimes show aggression, trying to hit an adult who is losing patience.
They do not stand on ceremony with their peers either: small instigators often decide by force over the scapula or the sequence of riding from a hill. Constantly in motion, they have little control over themselves, bruises and bumps are falling and endlessly stuffing.
When confronted with a child’s diagnosis for the first time, parents are at a loss (by the way, this syndrome is more common in boys than in girls, at a ratio of 8: 1). They ask many questions: can he successfully study, make friends and how will this affect his growing up? “Detection of a problem at an early, preschool age is half the success,” said Natalia Kaverskaya, a child psychologist. – In close contact with a specialist, you can, without losing time, develop tactics of treatment and rehabilitation of the child.
With the right approach and understanding of the characteristics of this state by all close people, the baby will develop as successfully as his peers. And it is also important for all family members to realize: there is no fault of yours. ”
Indeed, the worst thing that parents can begin to do is blame themselves or each other. Daddies accuse moms of excessive connivance of whims, moms, in turn, of insufficient patience and unjustified punishment.
In fact, this syndrome is considered congenital, due to neurobiological factors, although the exact mechanism of its occurrence has not yet been sufficiently studied. One of the possible causes is birth trauma and infectious diseases suffered by a child in the first months of life.
Children with ADHD suffer from a wall of misunderstanding that grows between them and the world. After all, they themselves would like to react more calmly and not to embark on the warpath with their parents, siblings and friends, sometimes feeling themselves outright outcasts. The kid feels: he is constantly being scolded, and no matter what he does, it only upsets everyone.
And if at the same time he sees how his peers or siblings are praised and rewarded: they have drawn an excellent picture, and puzzles are picking up a race with the pope, and on the matinee they all clapped, this does not add self-confidence. The child is nervous, angry, parents lose their patience, and the situation enters a vicious circle. “Under no circumstances should children lose confidence that they are loved,” Natalya Kaverskaya reminds. – As often as possible, without any reason, hug a child and say how dear you are to him.
The more the baby hears these words from you and receives gentle touches, the easier it is for him to cope with himself. When you feel that the child starts to get nervous – offer him a hug and sit, hugging each other.
Over time, this may well reassure him at a time when the conflict is only there, but not yet heated. ”
Even if his success in drawing or writing numbers, that is, a lesson that requires concentration, seems modest to you, certainly praise and encourage. For a child of preschool age is not so important, what will be the task. If writing is better than counting, it’s worth concentrating on that.
The main thing here is the schooling of concentration and the ability to overcome their impulsive desires to switch to something more interesting. Work with your baby when he feels most rested, take time and try every week to build up the minutes he spends to do or just listens to the reading of the book.
It is important that the most enticing and distracting toys be removed. And, of course, you must be present nearby.
1) Smear fingers hard clay on the picture with a large coloring.
2) Draw small circles and paint over them with a pencil or pen.
3) Put a few small balls of plastic or glass in the palm of the child and ask him to take them out one by one with the thumb and index finger of the same hand.
4) Place empty plastic bottles on a not very stable surface (couch or chair) so that they keep balance.
“I first read or tell my son a story, and then draw characters from it,” says Elena, the mother of four-year-old Misha. – And I ask him to portray someone. While he draws, I make up for the hero he chose – the Evil Wolf or Smesharik – funny details. Someone here loves clothes with huge buttons, and someone ties a bow to the tail.
Son is fun, and he willingly draws. After that, we believe with him: how many heroes have legs, hands, how many rays have the sun and branches on the tree.
As soon as Misha is distracted, we briefly interrupt for something else, such as a ball game, and then I attract his attention by continuing the story. ”
Irina, the mother of two children, recalls that with the eldest daughter they also learned the alphabet and the score through the game. But with the youngest son who was given ADHD, she and her husband became more creative. “We try to focus his attention on something that is especially interesting to him. One of the favorite games – the disappearance of toy dinosaurs.
To come to his friends to help, the son must write the cherished words on the board. First, we, to the delight of the child, are looking for hidden cards with words in the apartment.
Then we find the son reads and writes the words. After that, favorite dinosaurs come back. ”
“Games with plots associated with your favorite toys, characters of books or cartoons can be excellent learning assistants,” psychologist Olga Naumova supports the imagination of parents. – The main thing is not to hurry and customize the child. Perhaps his peers do a better job with tasks that your baby has not yet received, or which he flatly refuses to complete.
The fact is that, due to the peculiarities of the functioning of the brain, he constantly needs new stimuli: outdoor games, cartoons – and it is more difficult for him to perform monosyllabic tasks that require repetition. A child with ADHD needs a little more time to form a stable nervous system, so don’t be in a hurry.
He will be very good at writing and counting and will be able to study as well as other children if you now allow him to develop at his own pace. ”
“I always praise Sergei for the drawings and post his work in the corridor,” says Marina. – Yes, his lines are not as clear as those of his sister at the same age, he endlessly distracted. However, we emphasize that he is our artist and, like any creator, sees the world in his own way. ”
It is often difficult for a child with ADHD to focus on pictures in a standard album or writing small letters. Arrange his own corner for him: stick the paper on the wall in the nursery – often such children have “large-scale painting” much closer.
All children need a routine and predictable order of the day, but kids with ADHD are especially dependent on it. He clearly observed the time of walks, games and bedtime helps not overexcited and switch in time. It is also important that these children, who naturally have a more mobile nervous system, rest during the day.
The longer the child’s daytime sleep is saved, the calmer the baby will be. Of course, the dream does not build in order to start fighting for him, it only hurts.
If the baby cannot sleep, ask him to change into his pajamas for this time (this ritual sets the children to a more peaceful mood) and calmly lie down in the crib after listening to the book that he is being read.
Protect your child from overwork, because it leads to a decrease in self-control and an increase in hyperactivity. Emotional events (trips to the theater, on children’s holidays), it is important to alternate with a more predictable and routine period. And if today he is invited to a children’s holiday with clowns and games, then you should not plan a trip to the circus for the coming days, but it is better to spend them in a quiet home environment.
It is necessary to avoid contact with super-steady buddies. And if you invite someone home for joint games – let it be one guest.
Do not think that children with ADHD should be limited to excessive activity. On the contrary, all recent studies confirm that physical activity helps children relieve tension and feel better. It is only important to direct it in the right direction: it is enough to walk with the child and play outdoor games, which can also train mindfulness. “At the dacha we invented an impromptu game with bows,” says Natalia, the mother of five-year-old Lelya. – I gave my daughter multi-colored ribbons, and we competed – who among us would quickly run around the plot and tie them to the trunk of five bushes.
Walking in the woods, we came up with a game – to collect a certain number of cones in the basket, and then to race one another to the chosen reference tree. This game gave both excitement and at the same time trained the ability to count. ”
You can also take your child to dance, gymnastics or skating classes – anything that can carry him away will do. When he goes to school and his parents think about more serious sports activities, one should not consider only aggressive sports, such as boxing.
- Compete on the street, who first sees a red car, a woman with a dog, a baby in a wheelchair. This will help to keep in mind all the points of the task and train attentiveness.
- “What’s new in the room?” Ask the child to remember the layout of things. Then put a new item on a relatively prominent place and ask to find it. Do not hide in a remote place, the kid should be able to easily find the object with a look.
- Use lotto and board games with the rules: “find ten differences” or “lead the dog through the maze”. The differences in the pictures at first should be obvious, and the maze – short.
The calmer the situation reigns around the baby in the family and his immediate environment, the easier it is for him to learn how to control himself. Yes, it is not easy always to answer with restraint to constant whims turning into cry and tears.
However, raising the tone in response or starting to severely punish, we only aggravate the situation. After all, impulsivity and irritability are components of ADHD. Our task is to help the child at this moment.
If it was not possible to reach an agreement, the rivers, as they say, overflowed: the child was crying sobbing, loudly demanding something or demonstratively falling to the floor — you shouldn’t conduct educational conversations at that moment. If you are away from home – try to take him to another place so that he can change the situation. “Of course, we, moms and dads, are also living people and are not always able to cope with themselves.
If such a demarche occurred at home, it is better to leave the baby for a while alone in the room, so that you can cope with your emotions and he let off steam, – Olga Naumova suggests. – But later, by all means, come back, hug him and remind you that you love and understand very much how difficult it is for him now. It is important for the child to feel that you share his feelings.
Yes, you can’t let him everything he wants. But try to say “no” less often, switching his attention to something else and offering an alternative. ”
After diagnosing ADHD, moms and dads get a long-awaited answer to many of their questions. However, the claims of others: parents, peers, kindergarteners, and disgruntled relatives often continue to pursue them.
After all, the child has no obvious violations to the eye, and therefore many people perceive him as poorly educated, and parents as negligent. It will also require restraint and patience. “It is important to find a compromise not only with your own baby, but also with dissatisfied parents whose children have suffered from your bullies,” says Natalya Kaverskaya. “If the incident between the children occurred before your eyes, it is important to show participation, explain that the attacker is wrong and try to achieve reconciliation.”
Olga Naumova reminds that the rule should be one: “Everyone who spends considerable time with your child — grandmothers, nannies, caregivers — must understand and support him. After all, the biggest problem of children with behavior disorders is that it is difficult for people, even close ones, to identify with them and understand their problems. ”
For a successful presence in the collective of the nervous system of a child, it is necessary to mature enough, and for children with ADHD, this happens more slowly, and many experts advise, if possible, not to give such children to nurseries and kindergartens as far as possible. You can socialize a child by attending developmental classes with him and adjusting their frequency depending on how the child reacts to it. The kid will eventually learn to better control his emotions and cope with restlessness.
Compromise is part-time in the garden. “It all depends on the teacher,” says Olga, the mother of five-year-old Oksana. – We started having difficulties with the older group, when, instead of understanding and loving, able to take into account the condition of the daughter, indifferent people came. They did not care what the child does, if only he would not interfere with his activity.
It seems to be in the garden, and the insulation is complete. For six months, my daughter lost interest in everything.
At five she still did not read, but she loved to write down the words. And then she refused and became simply unmanageable.
We were transferred to another group – the child began to gradually come to life. ”
One way or another, it is likely that not all kids will understand the “activities” of their classmate, who are used to solving everything with pressure and force, even pursuing the good goal of making friends and playing together. Not always patient to fidget and educators.
It’s no secret that in some kindergartens parents are secretly pressured to take away the “difficult” for caregivers. It is important to be prepared for these realities of everyday Sadikov’s life.
It is very important to enlist the support of educators. Even if a good place will be located a little further than the kindergarten nearby, it is worth going for it to specifically carry a child there. The main priority here is an attentive, child-aware environment.
Do not be afraid of gardens specially created for children with problems arising from ADHD, in particular, speech therapy lag. This is not a place where the development of the child will slow down, as it seems to some parents.
If you have just begun to take your child to kindergarten, it is better not to combine it immediately with additional developmental activities, but to spend your free time in a relaxed, homely environment.
Especially pay attention to the matinees and children’s holidays. After all, sometimes injustices happen that hurt the child’s vanity. Fearing that a fidget “only spoils everything”: if he does not learn a poem or, once on the stage, he spontaneously turns the whole scenario of the holiday upside down, sometimes children are not allowed to participate.
Learn about the holiday plan and discuss the issue of participation of the baby with the teacher. Let the baby have a very small role in the “crowd”, but he will feel involved.