HAPPY PARENTS Alexander, you have both a girl and a boy. Is the plan for children already completed?
ALEXANDER BERDNIKI If, God willing, there will be more children, I will be only happy. Actually, I want at least three. OLGA BERDNIKOVA I am also in favor.
Gypsies have always had many children in their families, however, now they usually have two, rarely more. But not less.
S.R. Since you are both Gypsies, do you have any national traditions in the family?
A.B. Well, to be honest, there are no special differences from Russian families. We have the same traditions, because we all live in Russia, all Christians, and Olga and I got married in the Orthodox Church.
Well, why are there many children in our families as a rule? Yes, because the gypsies love when there are many people in the house, when it is fun and noisy! And I don’t like it when it’s quiet, it’s necessary for someone to run, shout, laugh.
Even in the family necessarily need a boy, so that there was someone to transfer family affairs. All this stretches, of course, from the past, but no less important now, and for me too.
S.R. Olga, do you also like it when it’s noisy in the house? ABOUT.
Of course! Even when the children go for a walk with the grandmother, the house is empty, and I just do not find a place for myself.
S.R. Did you have a special wedding, was it gypsy?
A.B. But I will not say that it is somehow particularly different from most other modern weddings. There were a lot of people, which is typical for any Gypsy wedding.
And every family was called to dance. Not representatives of the family, but of all, from babies in the hands of mothers to the elderly.
And the older the dancer, the greater the respect for the newlyweds from this family. This custom is probably obligatory for our weddings.
S.R. Argued that Roma are not allowed marriages with representatives of other nations. This is true?
ABOUT. To some extent, this rule is maintained even now that the children in the family are Gypsies.
But only to some extent, because my brother, for example, is married to a Russian, and my mother is Russian. However, the point is not even in nationality, but in the fact that, after marrying a gypsy, it is necessary to accept the gypsy traditions, that is, in essence, to become a gypsy.
And the gypsy does not become different.
S.R. Probably, not only Alexander sings in your family? A.B.
Of course, we all sing, it’s just already in the blood laid. But how!
In general, the Roma are very talented people, and many people sing in it, for this it is not at all necessary to become an artist. Moreover, many of my friends, non-artists, sing in such a way that any artist will envy. A person can sell cars, suppose, and sing like a professional.
Really cool sing!
S.R. Olga, does anyone help you with children? ABOUT.
I do not work while the children are small, so, basically, I cope myself. And Sasha’s mother helps, Sasha’s aunt.
We have many relatives willing to help, so there is no need for nannies.
S.R. How did you meet?
A.B. We were introduced to friends. My friend and I came to Rostov, we went to a party, and there I saw Olya.
Then he went on tour to Germany and called her. Some time later, I came back to Rostov again, especially for Olga, where we agreed that I would come to be married, as expected, with my family.
Frankly, I didn’t have time for long courtship. So two months later we got married.
S.R. Firstborn wanted a boy?
ABOUT. Who will be the first, we did not care.
But the second, of course, the boy wanted.
S.R. And why most men want just a boy?
Now the inheritance can be transferred to the daughter. A.B. That’s not the point.
I just, for example, used to think that a boy would be closer to me. But Milan was born, and it turned out that the girl could be no less close. Milana is my friend.
In all. We play together, we love to tumble on the sofa, we do various acrobatic numbers, we walk, we go to a cafe.
I always carry her in my arms.
S.R. What do you focus on in raising children? A.B.
We bring up as parents raised us. This is necessary because this is the most correct method.
S.R. But you are from different families!
Olga brought up so, you – in a different way. A.B. No no.
Roma families have fairly clear rules and guidelines. For example, respect for elders.
Of course, all nations have this, but they are not always observed, and we try to strictly observe. There are also some things specifically for girls, for example.
ABOUT. The girl should not walk with the boys and kiss before the wedding. That is, she, of course, can communicate with the guys from her circle, but to a certain extent, not close.
And this is rather strictly observed here.
S.R. Olga, does Alexander help you with children?
ABOUT. Best of all, Alexander helps me to kiss and hug them! Basically, all the trouble with the children on the mother, of course.
A.B. But I play with them.
S.R. Now many of our mothers who have been to Europe complain that European fathers are more caring than ours.
Don’t you think so? ABOUT.
And in my opinion, this is wrong when a man is engaged in a child. The first time, when the baby is small, his mother should be engaged.
At least three years for sure. A.B. And I think it all depends on each individual family.
If mom can’t handle herself, then dad has to help.
S.R. Are Milan and Marcel characters similar?
ABOUT. Not at all.
From the very first days were already different. Milana is all so active, and Marseille is calmer.
As he was born, he basically slept and slept. I remember that at three months – 20 hours a day and now it sleeps well at night. But the boy is cheerful, loves to laugh, and because of everything.
Imagine such a crumb, and laughs straight out loud!
S.R. Was jealousy between them?
ABOUT. Of course it was!
In January, Milan turned 2 years old, in February Marcel was born, and for the first month she was very jealous. I, of course, prepared her for his birth even during her pregnancy, told me that there would be a brother, but it seems to me that all of this did not quite reach her.
And when Marcel appeared, it began: “Take him away! Do not take your hands!
Take me! Put it down! ”Whims, sobs … And then, with time, you know, it went away by itself.
We did not apply any special, special efforts for this. Although, of course, they constantly told that Marcel was her brother, the youngest, he should be loved, everyone loved him and her. In general, we always talk to her as an adult.
Moreover, she sometimes does not obey, shows character. But we understand that this is normal and natural, as it asserts itself.
S.R. Do you practice, like many parents, early development?
ABOUT. You know, now children themselves develop early. For two and a half years, Milana, and she easily communicates with five-year-old children, can count up to 10 already.
But to go to do somewhere at her age, I think it is too early. Although it is extremely independent, for example, not only it plays in the iPad, but it goes on the Internet itself, is very well oriented there and chooses cartoons for itself. She even comes up to the TV and tries to move pictures on the screen, as on a touch screen.
In this generation, the perception of many things is quite different than ours. But we read books from Milan without fail, Sasha’s mother teaches rhymes with her.
Later we plan to give her up for gymnastics or dancing, because her daughter is very flexible. Milana just grows up in music, in dancing, in singing.
The fact is that guests often gather at our home, and everyone loves to sing and dance. The daughter is often asked to fulfill something, and she is never shy, always with pleasure. But if he does not want something, he will never do anything. “I myself!” Is her favorite expression.
Even the clothing itself chooses: “This shirt,” says, “is beautiful, but this one is not.”
S.R. What do you do if you do not obey? A.B.
If something is very necessary, then it is still possible to persuade, but if it is not very necessary, then I never insist. We have one punishment – a strict conversation.
S.R. What dreams do you associate with children?
ABOUT. I only have a dream: so that she would have a happy female fate, that she should get married and have a good husband and beautiful children. Everything, I have no other dream.
We, the gypsy, is the best fate for the girl. A.B.
The fact is that it is not necessary for us that the girl do something else besides the family. No, if she wants to make a career – please!
But, you see, any girl dreams of getting married successfully? And to make it happen, you need to know the groom’s family. We so often acquaint the young, and often do so in advance.
Not that it is massively practiced, but there are such tendencies. For example, friends agree that their children, when they grow up, will marry.
But, of course, the final word for the children, if they do not want, nothing will happen. Previously, it happened, forced, now – no.
But all the same, if parents want their children to be together, this can be lead.
S.R. Milana has no fiance yet?
A.B. Not yet.
S.R. The plus of such matchmaking for a girl is in the guaranteed fiancé … OB You are right, in this plan it is easier.
Do not look for a husband and worry about it. He will find you himself.
We have so.
S.R. Would you like children to become professional singers too?
A.B. Yes, it’s cool, and for me, for example, has always been interesting. Marcel, maybe I would like such a fate.
Although … I have nothing against it, if he became a professional athlete, a football player. And Milana herself will choose how to live and what to be.
She will have to learn, and if she has a great job, I’ll be glad.