“Vadim awoke in a bad mood this morning. He dressed with an expression of flour on his face, had breakfast in silence, and before going outside he pulled off his hat from his head and threw it on the floor.
At my request to raise the headdress I frowned, twisted my mouth, and then, wringing my hands in anguish and dropping my eyes down, whispered: “I’m so tired!” I was confused. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be angry. It should be noted that Vadim has been experiencing heavy loads lately and is probably tired.
But the scene played out was like a badly played role in the movie. ”
Marina, mother of 3-year-old Vadim
In infancy, the child seeks to draw attention to their needs for food, rest, maternal affection, care with the help of crying of varying intensity, sharpness and tone. Over time, the crumb understands that you can “tell” about your needs through mimicry.
In 1,5−2 years in the baby intensively develop speech skills, the child is aware that he is capable not only with gestures, but also with words to show desires and spiritual experiences. But since up to 3-4 years of age the vocabulary of children is not rich, children confuse cases, inclinations, hardly select the necessary expressions, active mimicry remains a great help.
Grimaces can be compared with exclamation marks, which serve to reinforce the spoken words. Of course, sometimes it looks exaggerated, non-natural, but do not think that the child is pretending.
On the other hand, do not take such scenes to heart, remember that children of this age tend to exaggerately express their emotions. Sometimes mothers worry, is “normal” such a vivid manifestation of feelings?
Do not worry! Expressiveness in 2−3 years – a sign of mental health. Imagine the opposite situation: a baby with an expressionless face.
This is really a wake-up call.
“The first day in the garden was unsuccessful, despite the fact that we morally prepared the topic, explained what to expect, set a positive. Having entered the group, Subject was frightened, clung to me, did not want to let go.
Then he grew bolder, sat down with the guys. And when I closed the door behind me, Subject, according to the teacher, got involved in the game, was cheerful and pleased. But as soon as I returned a couple of hours, I hung on my neck and sobbed, loudly lamenting and biting my lips in a picture.
Why did this happen, because nobody offended him? How do you respond to such scenes? ”
Daria, 3-year-old mom
Adults often underestimate childhood experiences. What seems insignificant to parents can be significant for children. The child found himself in a new place, in an unfamiliar environment, without a mother.
It is logical that he was confused and frightened, despite the “moral training”. While the mother did not return, the baby “held on”, outwardly quietly playing with other children.
But in his soul passions, repressed feelings of uncertainty, confusion, surprise, a feeling of loneliness were seething. And in the hands of the mother, the baby finally felt safe, relaxed, and gave vent to emotions.
Perhaps, from the position of an adult, mature person, such a reaction seemed inadequate. But from the point of view of a small child, the experienced separation from the mother is a serious stress, a shock. In this situation, a close emotional connection between the mother and the baby is obvious: the child is not afraid to openly demonstrate mood, desires, inner impulses – that’s what is good and important!
It needs to be appreciated. You can not forbid the child to express emotions.
Otherwise, the baby will clamp, which can badly affect his mental development. For example, the suppressed insult or fear after a while can “pour out” into aggression. And parents will wonder where the child has so much negativity?
Therefore, reproach the child is not worth it. It is necessary to show sensitivity to children’s experiences, regret, gently chat, comfort.
Having found support from adults, the child will feel calm. Then, afterwards, it will not be so scary for him to remain in a new team without a mother.
The child will be sure that the mother will return, regret and support in difficult times.
“Katyusha is a cheerful, sociable child. But just not over it – frowns, purses his lips and does not say a word.
Silently glances aside to all questions. I tried to make her laugh, to stir her up – does not help.
I pretended that I did not notice her puffed-up cheeks – then Kate began to sigh loudly with a look of lonely doom. Very picture. But to get an answer to the question what was wrong was impossible! ”
Lena, mother of 3-year-old Kati
Children at this age often replay, demonstrating their mood with facial expressions and gestures. It is necessary to involve the child in the dialogue, to teach to pronounce feelings. Explain that you get annoyed when he is silently offended, you do not understand what is the matter.
Ask leading questions: “Are you angry because you took the toy?”, “Are you sad because we didn’t go for a walk?” Teach your child not only to demonstrate, but also to call emotions, to describe them, to give a clear definition. Such a “pronouncing” of internal states brings one closer, teaches a child to understand the feelings of other people (and his own), to control mental impulses.
The “Make a Face” game helps a lot when mother and child take turns depicting an angry, sad, laughing or surprised person. Or the card game “In the world of emotions”: players are given out cards with images of fairy-tale characters, according to the expressions of their faces and posture, you need to understand the mood.
“When Sasha did not know how to speak, he, like all children, grimaced. Wide-open his mouth and eyes, showing surprise, clapped his hands and laughed, portraying joy, grimacing, trying to laugh. It looked funny, and my husband and mother-in-law laughed.
Realizing that the enchantment causes approval, Sasha began to grimace on any occasion: on the street, in the garden, at a party. Now he is 4, and he all grimaces, and it looks ridiculous!
He looks like a jester. ”
Tatiana, Sasha’s mother, 4 years
Kids quickly understand the power and potential of the grimace – so easily won popularity among peers and the attention of adults. But not all children want to be “jesters.” This demonstrative kids are prone to eager recognition, wanting to “shine in society”, to cause delight and admiration.
At first, the parents are amused by the charisma and talent of the young comedian. But gradually, childish grimacing begins to annoy. In an attempt to upset a child, parents often resort to punishment.
But often they only exacerbate the situation: there may be enuresis, stuttering, tics (the latter parents also sometimes consider to be crooked – say, when a child twists his mouth), fussy, chaotic movements, frequent changes of moods – from euphoria to melancholic depression. Thirst for attention is the natural quality of such children.
Suppress it is wrong and dangerous.
Turn flaw into virtue. Ape is a hidden acting gift that should be used at the right moment and in the right place. Explain it to the baby.
Purposefully develop your acting skills. Play theatrical scenes in public.
The child will receive the desired attention, applause and gradually calm down.