Главная 7 Child development 7 9 subtleties of discipline

9 subtleties of discipline

9 subtleties of discipline

Teach children to discipline! – It sounds most often then the child does something noisy, unbearable, sloppy, in general, behaves like a child. Strict fellow travelers on the train, grandfather with an army past and a neighbor from below, who works on the night shift, call on your head to discipline.

And they all want not to raise the baby, but to make him comfortable, obedient, and also – let him now stop crying and tapping the lids of the pots.

Discipline is thin ice, because on the one hand it is absolutely necessary, and on the other, if you bend it, it is easy to break the will of the little man, and with it the personality. They say about discipline when it is required to suppress the desire of a three-year-old who seeks to mix porridge with compote and see what will happen.

Or when it is necessary to convince a second-grader not to give up figure skating, where she has been walking for half a year with a creak. But this has nothing to do with real discipline.

Because obedience, while appealing to the eye, is not discipline. The task of a parent is to help a person grow an inner core, which relies not on external authority, but on personal conviction: I do it because I consider it necessary and correct, even if it is sometimes difficult for me.

Bruno Bettelheim – a well-known psychotherapist who managed to survive in a fascist concentration camp, studied the mechanisms of suppressing a person’s will and his ability to resist it. In his book The Enlightened Heart, he wrote about the inner capacity for self-government, implying a calm deed coming from inner conviction, and not from accommodation, resentment, external pressure or control.

A simple example is that a person follows the rules of the road not out of fear of DPS, but out of love for himself and his life. That is, to discipline is to teach a child to respect himself, to value his time, his interests, to teach it to properly manage, to explain the relationship between candy wrappers scattered around the house and the need to remove them from their socks.

When parents caring about discipline create total control at home with a multitude of prescriptions and rules, and force the child to squeeze into the created frames, they are unlikely to create an inner core. Junior focuses only on the fact that nowhere to stumble and do not blunder; he descends from the position of a person who can at least decide something to the position of one who only fulfills sometimes incomprehensible instructions.

In that sense, discipline is a powerful tool of repression. So in the Nazi camps there was a strict discipline, even how the beds were made, the guards checked with a ruler and a caliper.

If they do not at all explain the rules of the game to children, do not delineate the limits of the unacceptable, dangerous and simply undesirable, then they will find themselves in a situation of alarming uncertainty, in a situation where every time they need to check their reaction to the environment. This is a nervous and costly method of comprehending the world.

О admin

x

Check Also

Why is the child lying

Usually a lie is called a bad habit or a sign of a bad temper. ...

Advertising victim

Young children do not particularly care about advertising. If only because you are for him ...

Dasha-traveler “in Luzhniki

This theatrical performance has already caused a stir among the children’s audience in Australia, Great ...

Twelve feats of the pope

Is your dad one of those who find it easier to sort out the engine ...

Breakfast for children: 7 options for a healthy breakfast for a preschooler

Breakfast for preschool children is necessary, because the presence of breakfast is the prevention of ...

Sandbox Psychotherapy or Sand Therapy

Sand therapy, a Jungian sandbox, playing with sand, kinesthetic sand, sand painting are just a ...

How to punish young children?

Your familiar adult women are right, and not so. They are right that you, like ...

Children of real kings: how is their life?

The most famous heir to the throne, no doubt, Prince George of Cambridge, the first ...

Twins: breastfeeding not canceled

If a woman has the desire to breastfeed twins, it is advisable to choose in ...

Kindergarten menu: trust or check?

Since January 2012, the Moscow municipal kindergartens have switched to “industrial” food. Virtually all dishes ...

Daria and Sergey Pynzar: happy together!

HAPPY PARENTS Is the second child a different matter than the first? DARIA PYNZAR With ...

Eat and lose weight: 10 products for burning calories

Without further ado, we present to you this magnificent top ten calorie-burning foods: Grapefruits speed ...

Space Odyssey of the Light Country

The holiday that has been fond of many will be held in St. Petersburg for ...

How to teach a child patience

Patience is the ability to postpone momentary desire or pleasure for the sake of a ...

Career guidance since childhood

Children’s city of professions “Kidburg” – the first in Russia interactive thematic center, working in ...

My baby sleeps all night

Problems with nighttime sleep in varying degrees, affect 30% of children. But according to the ...

The ninth month “became the main family holiday of September

A large entertainment program with performances by famous bands and artists, contests, games, master classes ...

If dad suddenly disappeared

No wonder they say: to get to know a person, you must divorce him. When ...

Winter Palace: how to adjust the optimal climate in the apartment for the baby?

Indoors, the most comfortable temperature for a newborn is considered to be 25 ºС. In ...

Now you will be two

On how well you prepare the first-born child for the appearance of a younger brother ...

From love to hate and back: the stages of development of feelings in a child

The task of the parents is not sculpting a sculpture, but diamond cutting: the development ...

Give me a spoon!

As a rule, the desire to independently wield a spoon appears months to 10. If ...

I can not love the son of his bride

After reading your letter, the first thing I thought about was not about your relationship ...

Ideas for children’s birthday

“Simple but well organized” is the formula that should be followed to give the child ...