It has changed to such an extent that all the direct and indirect signs indicate that he began to fear her. The kid can openly declare that he does not want the nanny to come.
Or she will ask with obvious apprehension whether she will come today. There are other warning signs. If usually calm, cheerful baby suddenly becomes quiet, shudders at any rustle or sudden movement, closes in on himself or often cries for no apparent reason.
Or bruises and bruises appear on his body, and the nurse explains them with frequent and strange falls, while nothing like this happens in your presence. Such changes may be due to the fact that the nanny beats your child or applies physical punishment.
First you should talk to her directly. By her reaction, much can be understood.
If the nanny cannot clearly explain where the crumbs of bruises came from, check her words. With the child, too, can and should talk.
Yes, it is true that young children, especially if they are frightened, are often silent and cannot really explain anything. And older children are also not always able to tell the truth.
There may be several reasons. Or the nanny scared the baby, which happens quite often, or the child has never been beaten before and he just does not understand what happened.
And perhaps he himself considers himself guilty, and slaps or slaps – rightly deserved. Sometimes children are afraid that once the nurse has punished them, then the parents will do the same.
If the baby is too small and you are not completely sure that he is telling the truth, or the child denies everything, but you have doubts, put a hidden camera and see what happens in your absence. In any case, when signs of physical violence appear, it is not necessary to wait long. If the fact of violence is confirmed, it is important to contact a child psychologist.
The specialist will help the child cope with the consequences of such a traumatic experience.
And it also imposes religious, moral or moral views that are not close to you and with which you fundamentally disagree. At the same time, conversations and requests to stick to your positions lead nowhere.
One should be wary when the child begins to transmit the values learned from the nanny. That is, when he tells you something he couldn’t guess himself: “We live in a bad apartment!”, “We dress too cheap!”, “Dad is nobody with us!”.
There are some babysitters who like to talk with their kids about how they worked in another family or how they raised their own offspring themselves. Comparisons in this case are almost inevitable: “But my daughter already knew how to read in his years,” “My sister’s son never fought with anyone,” and so on.
Nanny, as a doctor or psychologist, must comply with certain ethical standards. And you have to understand that such communication is in itself unprofitable for the child. Children are hurt by constant criticism, comparison, and evaluation.
In addition, the baby begins to consider himself bad and not capable of much. As a result, he forms a negative image of himself.
She always “knows better” what is useful for a child and what is harmful for him, periodically begins to “educate” you, undermining parental authority. This approach does not bode well, because there is no chance to hear the needs of the child. An “all-knowing” nanny deprives a baby of the right to make choices and have their own desires Alert, if she constantly argues with the child, until the last she stands her ground, imposes her plans, forbids doing what the soul is for, or simply ignores his requests.
In addition, directives like: “Let’s not go for a walk, today I’m in heels,” “We won’t read this author, I don’t like his books”, “No paints, today we will sculpt”, “Leave cars at home, we go to football ground ”, – talent, faith in self, initiative, and motivation will be ruined.
Do not rejoice ahead of time. The big question is what means it achieves.
If a child is waiting for you with impatience, and when you return, he does not leave you a step away, perhaps in your absence he is deprived of communication. A nanny can do his own thing, not paying attention to a child: chatting in networks, chatting on the phone, closing a baby in a room, turning on cartoons for the whole day so that “he doesn’t interfere”.
With an easygoing child is easier for everyone. But out of such children grow up people who are unsure of themselves, timid performers, who find it difficult to defend their borders and dream of something for themselves.
Do you need this?
Consider: while you are not there, most likely, your child absorbs the same negative, only unlike you, already in non-stop mode. If you spend most of your time at work, your baby simply has no choice.
And sooner or later he will copy her worldview, form a negative picture of the world, will certainly learn how to complain and see cons in everything. If your suspicions are confirmed, it is better to replace such a nanny.
With kindergarten teachers, with school teachers, with mummies on the playground (“I worked 10 years at school, I know myself how best”, “What are you doing to me, comments? Do you follow your lackluster!”). If the conflicting nanny spoils relations with people who are in constant contact with your child, this will have a negative effect on him.
First, by condemning their actions in the presence of a baby, she teaches him to devalue the work and personality of other people, instilling in him a disrespectful attitude towards others. And soon the child will copy her behavior.
Secondly, the attitude of educators and teachers towards your child from such aggressive attacks will definitely not improve.