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6 typical children’s claims to parents

6 typical children's claims to parents

My youngest son is often angry that we don’t allow him to watch TV late, as his older brother, or we don’t let go of the walk without adult supervision. “This is dishonest, unfair! You allow Kolya, but I don’t! ”He cries, and no arguments that Kolya is 5 years older do not help.
(Elena, mother of 6-year-old Semyon and 11-year-old Kolya)

How to settle a conflict?
The best thing you can do in this situation is to imagine yourself in the place of a baby. The child is hurt and vexed, and he will be even more vexed if you are indifferent to his feelings. Be sure to tell the child that you understand how upset he is and explain to him why you are forbidding him what you allow your sister or brother.

Talk with your child about the fact that the older a person becomes, the more rights and duties appear. Emphasize the child’s attention to the fact that Kolya not only watches TV until 11 o’clock in the evening, but also goes shopping, vacuums the apartment, takes out the garbage, etc. And try to make the older children have more responsibilities in the family than the younger ones , – then the kids will not envy the broader rights of adult children. And most importantly: if the baby is still upset because he was not allowed to walk with his older brother (or for some other similar reason), offer him an alternative!

Do not leave the child to suffer from resentment and loneliness, arrange a joint viewing of his favorite cartoon, read a book, play puppet theater, circus, etc. – there are a lot of options.

As soon as Yulia doesn’t like something, she immediately starts to wriggle, tears pour down from her eyes, and she howls: “Well, oh, oh, oh, what can’t I do ?!” And she can repeat this phrase a hundred times until at the end the ends won’t get what she wants.
(Svetlana, mother of 4-year-old Yulia)

How to settle a conflict?
Forward this question to the child himself. When the baby angrily asks you once again, “Why ?!”, calmly answer: “What do you think, why am I refusing you?” This question puzzles the child, he will stop crying and think: “Is it true why my mother doesn’t allows? ”If the question confuses the child, subtly hint at the correct answer.

Such tactics work much more efficiently than repeatedly repeating a million reasons for your refusal. The whole trick of this method is to unobtrusively impress your child’s point of view.

Then the baby will calmly accept your rules and regulations in the family, and there will no longer be similar incidents.

In a pinch, you can use another funny way: if the child cannot be calmed down, try … to make him laugh. For example, suddenly say: “I cannot understand what you are saying.

Are you speaking Chinese again? Or is it Japanese?

6 typical children's claims to parents

Sometimes my daughter Liza recklessly notes on my bans: “But Masha’s parents allow me!” With this phrase she first of all shows me that the Machines are kind and understanding parents, and I am a family tyrant who keeps her on a “short leash”. But it is not so! I am quite a liberal person, but I believe that there should be reasonable restrictions after all.

And, frankly, I’m completely lost from such lisinous statements.
(Marina, mother of 9-year-old Lisa)

How to settle a conflict?
Explain to the child that different families have their own rules. For example, in one family on the weekends, the whole family decided to watch movies on TV, and in the other – to go to the country and, on the contrary, to relax there from television. Tell that each family has its own family traditions and establishments.

Frequently discuss these regulations with children, which should be reasonable, simple and specific. And, no less important, the child must understand the reason for the appearance of such rules in the family so that he does not have the feeling that he lives in the barracks.

If parents more often discuss these or other establishments with their children, they will hear much less stories about how great it is that Masha (or Pete or Vasya) are allowed to eat sweets at any time of the day.

6 typical children's claims to parents

My husband and I have several different methods of education. I adhere to stricter rules, and my husband, a supporter of Japanese pedagogy, believes that a child under 7 years old can be allowed everything. Perhaps that is why my five-year-old son loves to play with his father, who pampers him a lot more.

And if I stay alone with the baby and do not allow him something, he invariably says: “But my father would allow me!” I don’t know how to react correctly in these cases.
(Larisa, mother of 5-year-old Vadik)

How to settle a conflict?
If you have forbidden a child something, do not cancel the ban, but answer him: “If you think that dad would allow you, then I will talk to dad and we will decide how to proceed”. In the depths of your soul, you can even thank the kid for pushing you in such an unusual way to a joint discussion on the upbringing of the child.

And in any case (no matter whether you came to a common opinion with your spouse), the child must understand that he must obey both the father and the mother, and the grandmother, and the grandfather, and the teacher, and the nurse, and other adults who bring him up . Calmly but firmly repeat your demands until the child is convinced that you are not retreating from the decisions made, despite all his cries and objections.

And even if the child’s crying is already going crazy, try to stay calm, because your breakdowns will only provoke the baby and he will understand that with a cry you can get your attention and achieve the desired result.

Gosh – docile cute baby. But sometimes it seems he finds something, he suddenly begins to stubbornly and refuses to fulfill any requests. And when I try to talk to him more severely, he shouts to me: “You will not make me!”
(Olga, mother of 4-year-old Gosha)

How to settle a conflict?
Try to relieve tension and turn everything into a joke, for example, by tickling the kid and jokingly saying: “Of course, I will, because I’m a terrible Gray Wolf!” Or turn everything into a game. So, if a child does not want to undress before going to bed, suddenly say to him: “But we argue, can you not undress and hang clothes on a chair in one minute?” This method works in almost a hundred percent, and the child, seized by the spirit of excitement, throws a bullet throw off clothes.

If your tricks do not work, act differently, shifting responsibility onto the shoulders of the child. For example, if the child does not want to clean up the toys behind him, tell him: “If you don’t remove the toys now, then tomorrow I won’t play with you”. Just be consistent, and if the child still leaves the room in disarray, the next day do not be persuaded, stand the character and do not play with him.

Otherwise, the baby will understand that your word means nothing and that you are easy to manipulate.

6 typical children's claims to parents

A month ago, my youngest daughter returned from her grandmother from the dacha. The child seemed to be replaced.

Before that, she was a calm, obedient girl, and now, if she wants something, she will strive to the last gasp. “I said I WANT!” She shouts. Trying to explain something to her at these moments is completely useless.
(Larisa, mother of 5-year-old Vika)

How to settle a conflict?
First of all, express sympathy to the baby and do not deprive him of the hope that someday he will get the desired thing. Tell the child something like: “We will try to buy it for you for your birthday, or if you want, you can save your pocket money.”

This will not only calm the child, but also teach patience and a more serious attitude towards money. And if a child accumulates the required amount and purchases a toy with his own money, he will be much more careful with her, will appreciate this thing, remember how hard it is for him.

However, sometimes the child still needs to firmly say “no” without further explanation. Only this should be done at home, in a private setting, and not on the street, at school or other public place. Your refusal, most likely, will cause the child a storm of negative emotions, so it would be better if he cried out at home, and not on a crowded street.

However, despite the cry of the child, remember that children need reasonable restrictions and waivers. Children who do not know failure, often neurotic, become uncontrollable.

After all, at the subconscious level, the child wants to feel the limits of what is permitted, wants to see that the world is arranged clearly, clearly, with pronounced boundaries, beyond which it is impossible to enter. So reasonable restrictions are necessary.

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