The fact is well known to all parents: children behave well, if their behavior is limited by strict (or not so much – depends on the child) rules. In fact, kids love them: it gives them the confidence that they can always rely on you. This in turn gives them a sense of security.
But, unfortunately, “overruns” occur in children: they certainly need to win their independence and prove that they, by the way, are already independent adults and do not intend to fulfill your requests. But do not give in and do not lower your level, but rather follow our advice, and you will see the result as soon as possible.
Tip 1: Do not bother with the phrase “Be a good boy” when your child tries to hit another baby
Why is this not working? This phrase is very conditional, and for the child its meaning is not entirely clear: the kids are just beginning to learn what “good behavior” is.
Your new approach: Be specific. Tell your child why your rules are so important.
Make sure you speak clearly, clearly and briefly – as a matter of fact. Kids tend to understand phrases like “you can’t beat people because it makes them sick and sad.”
When a child understands why there is a limitation, and why it is so important, he is more willing to follow it. In some cases, you can ask: “What do you think happened if I allowed you to throw toys all over the apartment?” Try to listen to all the pros and cons of the baby, and then give your answer. This will encourage him to think before doing, and to evaluate the result of his actions – something that young children cannot cope on their own.
Tip 2: The phrase “do not move away from me far away in the supermarket” is not enough for the child to obey you
Why is this not working? Young children have an underdeveloped part of the brain that is responsible for self-control, and this is normal. To remind them of this rule when they are about to get away from you is useless.
Your new approach: Do the preparatory work. If you know that the baby likes to make you nervous, and in this situation will do it with pleasure, tell him about your future joint plans.
For example: “You have to stay by my side while we are here. Then we will buy everything faster, and later we will have more time for joint games. ”
Tell us about what you need to buy and what departments of the store to visit, so that the child can imagine what you are going to do now. And then be sure to praise the baby if he behaved perfectly
Tip 3: You do not waste time and energy on the suggestion of the child basic rules? And in vain!
Why is this better done? Believe me, you run the risk of spoiling your nerves if you inspire a bunch of small rules to your child (for example, you should wear a yellow jacket instead of a red one).
Such a quantity of “unnecessary”, in the opinion of the child, only clogs his memory and does not settle in his head, and he is unlikely to be able to recall the really important rules at that age.
Your new approach: Stop fighting. Suggesting a child what to wear for a walk is not as important as, for example, the rule that it is necessary to fasten the seat belt in the car.
You should not be equally strict with the child in these cases. Focus on the basic rules (safety, etiquette) and relax when it comes to more “superficial” things. Such an approach has advantages in the long run: studies show that children who are brought up too strictly may have serious behavioral problems in the future.
Tip 4: More often stay close to the child during his sleep, if he asks you
Why is it worth doing? If you stay with your baby at night only from time to time, the question arises – why did you introduce this tradition in general?
If you do not observe it yourself, then the child will conclude that he may violate the rules that you set for him. In addition, if the baby wakes up after a while and does not find you around, he may not fall asleep for a long time, and this is bad for the quality of sleep.
Your new approach: Be consistent. If you set a rule, you must apply it constantly. “Usually” is the wrong word when it comes to raising children, and especially child sleep.
Kids with a stable sleep are less likely to be naughty in the evening, thus, without taking away their precious time of rest. Children at that age generally need a lot of sleep (12 hours for three-year-olds).
Yes, sometimes it is almost impossible to make them go to bed, but in no case do not give indulgences to either the child or to themselves: if you do not sleep, the next morning the child will feel overwhelmed and irritated. As, however, and you
Tip 5: Find ways to not start sentences with no or you shouldn’t
Why is this not working? If you utter the word “no” very often, the child may get a clear impression that he is not allowed anything. Eventually, he will start neglecting your rules, and you will face even worse behavior than before.
Your new approach: Tell him about his capabilities. Show your child different ways to solve the problem, so that in the end he himself will understand how to behave, instead of immediately formulating a ban.
If you, for example, caught the kid trying to pull the cat by the tail, say: “It’s good that you want to touch the cat, but you have to do it gently. Come on, I’ll show you how, and we’ll do it together. ” Praise your baby later if he followed your advice.
Tip 6: Do not be angry and do not cry when the child takes you out of yourself
Why not do this? Yes, this is a great way to let off steam. But your rage will not force the kid to do what you want right now.
Rather, it will even cause the opposite effect. The fact is that at this age, children do not always understand the difference between what is funny and funny, and what is serious. Therefore, your child may find it very fun to drive you mad.
Your new approach: Try to speak calmly (yes, even when you feel that you are about to scream). If a baby throws food on the floor, take a deep breath and remind you, with your most restrained and firm voice, the behavior at the table: “When we eat, food should remain on the plate.”
Then let the child focus on something else, and you say an unexpected praise to his skills (“You do a great job with a spoon!”). After all, children love praise as much as they do not like to obey the rules.