Manipulating the chupa-chups in order to make the two-year-old sit quietly while they are being put on and put on shoes is not the rarest situation. But from the fact that so many mothers do, you do not feel better.
And the realization that you still managed to achieve a result (you quickly went for a walk!) Does not relieve you from the feeling of guilt. Stop it.
Maybe it’s not so bad?
Consider a few situations familiar to all mothers. And experts will tell us why you should not succumb to stress and how to avoid traps in education.
Immerse the child in the midday nap and make a little sleep during the day – what could be harder? The need for daytime sleep for young children and their unwillingness to do so often become the cause of real battles between parents and children. The baby can scream, beat his head and even jump out of the crib.
And then one day my mother suddenly discovers that her eyes, which have not closed for a second during the day, guarantee that there will be no problems with going to bed. Because if in the afternoon the 3-year-old child didn’t sleep, then by 20 o’clock (or even earlier) the baby is ready to go to the side, freeing his mother for the whole evening to read, surf the net and watch TV shows. Is it not a reason for parents to revise their principles?
And now, in the afternoon, as soon as the child begins to nod, especially in the car, the mother immediately begins to wake him up – then tickling, and even including music, louder.
Discard the feeling of guilt. If the child has already reached 3 years old, then skipping the daytime sleep is quite normal.
If your baby is younger, but you notice that because of the daytime sleep, he doesn’t sleep well in the evening (for example, at 20.30 the child is still very alert and active), then it also makes sense to think about completely refusing to fall asleep during the day. Especially if the child himself is naughty, crying and in no way wants to lose a day to sleep.
Better yet, do so. Even if the baby does not want to sleep anymore during the daytime, take some time during the day for quiet activities, such as drawing or reading, so that the body can rest. This advice is given by the American somnologist, co-author of the book “Sleepy Solution” Jennifer Waldburger.
If your child falls asleep in a stroller or car during the day, then waking him gently is normal. But what if the baby doesn’t get enough sleep during the day – from 11 to 13 hours? For example, American preschool children, according to a study by the National Institute of Sleep, are lagging behind this norm and spend only 9.6 hours in a dream.
In this case, transfer the time of the evening bedtime to sleep. Send the child to bed early for half an hour to compensate for lack of sleep, the somnologist advises.
Some mothers tend to send children to kindergarten or school, when the runny nose and cough are not completely eliminated. Then such snotty kids teachers and nurses are sent home with a diagnosis of “not recovered.”
Meanwhile, pediatricians give advice: if the child has already begun to recover, but you are not sure whether he can again go “into outer space”, wait another day. Let the child stay at home and recover from the temperature within 24 hours.
Discard the feeling of guilt. Let’s face it: all children get sick a lot. Sometimes it is even difficult to know whether they are actually sick or simply suppressed. “If you keep the child out of school whenever he has a cold, he will never leave the house.
Just do your best and calm down, ”says Tanya Remer Altman, MD.
Better yet, do so. If your child has a fever, vomiting, or something clearly contagious (for example, ARVI), it is better for him to stay at home. When can you go to school again?
If the child feels well and has the strength, then you can return to school a day after taking the last dose of antibiotics. “Even if some symptoms still persist, the child is unlikely to be contagious for the rest of the children,” says Dr. Altman.
You leave a child who is passionately drawing in the room. You go out into the kitchen to make coffee. Come back after exactly 90 seconds.
And you find out that not only the child’s brushes are painted with a ballpoint pen or felt-tip pens, but also a beige sofa and light wallpaper … A familiar picture? Well, how can you not break down and shout at the child – so that even the neighbors will hear?
The child immediately pours back tears in response, and here you feel even worse.
Discard the feeling of guilt. We all lose our composure from time to time with the children. “Playing a whip once is not so bad,” says psychologist and Ph.D. Michael Thompson.
Children should see parents imperfect.
Better yet, do so. Psychotherapists advise: if you have lost composure, some time after this, apologize to the child and explain your behavior to him.
And if you feel that you are about to break, then try to keep from escalating the conflict, and allow yourself a time out. If possible, close your eyes and slowly inhale and exhale for a minute.
So, first of all, you will feel calmer, and secondly, you will show a good example. If the child sees that you are thus struggling with anger, in the future he will be able to use this method in a similar situation.
Playing a freshly bought bright ball on the playground seemed like a good idea to you. But after your child gets it, a whole crowd of tomboy runs up out of nowhere, and everyone is going to hold onto your purchase with dirty hands.
It seems that neither you nor your child are ready for this, who is about to cry from the fact that a toy is being taken from him, in which he himself has not yet played enough. As a result, you have to intervene in the game and literally protect the ball from children.
Discard the feeling of guilt. “A 2-3-year-old child is just beginning to understand the difference between the general and the personal,” says American psychotherapist Nell Gibbon. No matter how old your baby is, it’s better not to bring your toys to the playground or to the park, where they can become a magnet for all the kids.
Even the most peaceful and peaceful children can be shocked by how other guys clutch at their cherished toys.
Better yet, do so. Do not break if your child behaves differently than you would like. Try to negotiate with him and set a timer.
Explain that this boy will be able to play with the toy before the timer signal sounds, then your son’s turn will come, and then this girl. Let the intervals of ownership be short – no more than one or two minutes.
As you play, you can shorten these intervals so that, as a result, the desired object moves from hand to hand fairly quickly, even before a conflict occurs.