Anxiety is a sustained experience associated with a premonition of danger, emotional discomfort. The feeling of anxiety can be situational, appeared after some definite and unpleasant events (for example, as a result of an unsuccessful visit to the doctor), or it can be a personal characteristic. The “anxious” child is especially sensitive, deeply experiencing even the most insignificant troubles, and is sometimes prone to pessimism.
In the conditions of modern life, which dictates constant excitement about the future, multitasking, mutability and high speed of decision making, anxiety becomes a “routine” characteristic even for young children, which they often receive from their parents.
A strong and prolonged experience of anxiety often leads to neurotic manifestations (tics, stuttering, enuresis, etc.), in the fight against which the help of a specialist will be required. But parents can help your child learn to cope with their experiences.
What phrases should be remembered by parents of an anxious child?
1. “You are afraid, and this is normal.”
Tell your child that anxiety is not bad, that it helps to react on time and avoid danger. Explain that all people are afraid of something from time to time, but the alarm goes away anyway.
This allows you to feel the same as everyone else and not concentrate on your experiences too much. Share your life stories: “I used to be afraid of that too, but then …”, “Sometimes I get very excited, but I do this and that feeling passes.”
2. “Let’s play the Air Smiley game.”
Breathing exercises and exercises to relax the muscles of the face can quickly get out of anxiety, but in order for the child to hear you and begin to perform them, invite him to perform them in the form of a game. For example, let him present himself with a balloon with a picture of a smiley that is first inflated (taking a deep breath and a smile all over his face), and then let out air (a long exhale, relaxing muscles), or a balloon that is tied up with a thread (holding the breath).
Over time, the phrase “Smile and breathe” can become a soothing mantra for the child.
3. “Let’s count.”
This technique will switch an anxious baby to a very specific action that requires attention and thinking, which will distract him from inner anxiety. Consider everything that you can find in the environment (red cars, people with glasses, birch trees, books in a green cover, etc.).
4. “Can you worry more?”
Together with the child play the fear, reduced to the point of absurdity, exaggerated excitement. Translation of an alarm into a joke will help relieve tension.
5. “Do you remember how we / you …”
A pleasant memory of a situation of complete peace, relaxation with maximum details and details will help calm down. A reminder of the already accomplished “victories” of the child will give him confidence.
6. “What superhero would you like to be?”
Let the kid choose an image to follow (a famous superhero or invent himself) and “try on” this role for himself. You can even come up with a matching costume, mask, or any attribute.
Acting on behalf of such a character, as if playing a role, it will be easier for the child to cope with anxiety.
7. “Let’s practice.”
Playing in a calm environment situations that cause anxiety in a child, gives him the opportunity to prepare, adapt, try different behaviors and choose the best one. Having in mind a ready-made scenario of possible reactions in a given situation, the child will be more comfortable with it.
8. “Let us be afraid a little later, but now imagine …”
Anxiety seeks to completely capture the mind and mind, so help your child understand that he is able to control it, put it off for a while. Suggest a child to dream about something exciting and pleasant, while his thoughts are busy – the alarm will wait.
9. “You’re safe. This talisman will protect you and bring good luck. ”
The sense of security is especially necessary for an anxious child, so do not tire of repeating that you are near and that nothing threatens him. When a child is without you, the chosen talisman will help him to keep this feeling: a soft toy, a pendant, a coin …
10. “Draw how you feel.”
Drawing or just doodles give the child an opportunity to throw out feelings when he cannot express his feelings in words. Even a simple strike on paper reassures, but an older child can be offered to describe his feeling (its size, shape, color …) and portray it as a monster, inventing a name for it.
Voltage decreases when it is possible to transform an unspecified anxiety into something concrete.
11. “We need to go to the safest place.”
Visualization – effective reception against anxiety. In a quiet state, create with your child an image of the safest and happiest place where it is cozy and comfortable.
Write it in all details and details (sounds, who and what surrounds, etc.), then, experiencing anxiety, you only need to remind the child about his mental “island of safety”.
12. “Tell me, what is the worst thing that can happen?”
Anxiety is often unconscious and only aggravated by uncertainty and uncertainty. By asking your child to think about the future, you help him realize his fear and its causes. Disassemble the “terrible” consequences, show the child that most of them can be easily corrected.
Try to switch your child from emotion to rational thinking.
13. “I love you always and proud in any case.”
The baby’s confidence that they love him, regardless of his achievements or circumstances, creates a sense of security and support, and the knowledge that his mother is satisfied with his efforts eliminates the overvalued result and reduces the level of stress for the child.
14. “Repeat after me:” I will succeed. “
Auto-training and self-hypnosis are proven methods used by both athletes and speakers, but it is difficult for a child to believe in the power of words. But he trusts you, so repeat the phrase “I can do it” or “I can” together at least 10 times with different intonations and expressions.
This will help overcome the feeling of powerlessness.
15. “It seems that Torik is nervous again, let’s help him calm down.”
Give the toy or pet anxiety and anxiety and encourage the child to help. Let him teach an anxious doll to compress an anti-stress pillow, to box a pear or to take a restless dog for a walk.
Helping another, the child will cease to pay attention to his anxiety.
The most important thing to remember is parents of sensitive babies – the child very sensitively perceives the emotional state of close adults. Therefore, if you notice signs of anxiety in your child, first of all, do not allow your concerns for health, socialization, baby development, and others to “intervene”. And if you have your own unsolved problems that torment you, try to deal with them.
Sometimes the baby clearly “mirrors” the state of the mother.