When your three-year-old daughter wants to tell you her secret in her ear, everyone hears her within a radius of 50 meters. Especially uncomfortable with this happens in the theater, in the church and in other places where it is not customary to speak loudly.
In doing so, you have heard your child speak in a whisper many times.
Indeed, from an anatomical point of view, a young child is quite capable of moving into whispers of his own accord. There are even children who prefer to speak in a whisper almost all the time (usually parents are not less worried than the comments uttered aloud during the performance).
It’s all about the lack of ability of the child to control the volume of his voice. Helping the child adapt his vocal abilities to various social situations is an important educational task.
Before going to the theater, to the church, remind once again the rules of etiquette, briefly explain why it is customary to behave this way, and be sure to practice.
You have seriously spent on educational toys from environmentally friendly materials, but the child does them for no more than five minutes – and again reaches for your phone, TV remote and computer mouse …
Toddlers are interested in subjects for adults, because imitation of adults, identification with them is the main way of development. And how a child can be left indifferent by a small plastic box, bringing it to her ear mom says something loudly and joyfully, then goes to a whisper, laughs, makes a surprised face, sigh, get angry!
In addition, what is forbidden, especially attracts attention. To forbid touching pans is a sure way to interest a child with them. Therefore, you should not limit the development of the baby too strict rules.
Allow him to play the way he wants to develop his imagination and creativity. And in a large number of “developing” toys is not at all necessary.
Of course, he distinguishes mom from dad. Concerning the distinction between the sexes is also hardly worth worrying about. It is, as a philologist would say, about “saving language means.”
There is a familiar word that is pleasant to voice and hearing to designate an adult who cares about you — sometimes it is enough for a child to use this word to define the entire notion of a loved one, “his” adult. Most likely, if the baby called dad mom, dad is actively involved in the care and upbringing, “is engaged in the child” no less than mom.
To prevent this mistake from becoming entrenched in a habit or game, calmly correct the baby and in conversations with the child more often call family members as you would like the baby to call them.
The phone intrigues children from a very early age, but it’s far from being used for its intended purpose. The child presses all the buttons in a row, spins the phone in his hands, licks it and giggles, but does not rush to respond to the greeting of the grandmother who is waiting on the line.
And all because he does not see her. In order to talk with an invisible interlocutor, the child needs to create his image in the imagination, and this mental function is not yet sufficiently developed. We, adults, often forget that our usual telephone, computer and other “adult” subjects are intended for adults whose higher mental processes are fully formed.
To connect the voice that the child hears, putting the phone to his ear, with the concept of “grandmother” or “aunt”, requires complex intellectual work. And the voice is not so easy to learn.
Therefore, the grandmother should not be offended by her grandson, who does not want to talk to her. Nothing personal…
“Mom, look for me!” The child shouts and closes her eyes with her hands. “Ku-ku”, the infant version is spongy, is the favorite game of mothers and babies around the world. In some countries, the ability to play “ku-ku” is even considered an indicator of the norm of age development.
But does the kid really think that you can hide by closing your eyes?
To understand what is happening, go back a little. It took the child eight months to learn a concept that psychologists call “persistence of objects.” Maitre in the field of cognitive psychology Jean Piaget argued that children under the age of eight months can not recreate the image of the subject, if it is out of their sight.
This means that for a baby, surrounding objects, including its mother, mysteriously appear and disappear. Growing up, the child begins to understand that objects not only continue to exist when he does not see them, but can also move and appear in another place.
Mom leaves the room, but does not disappear, although the baby does not see her. A rattle thrown on the floor is lost from the field of vision, but reappears when it is lifted by an adult.
The musical toy, covered with a handkerchief, continues to make sounds. This discovery is so important for the child that he longs to keep his joy from him, amused himself by playing “ku-ku”. The kid already knows that when he opens his eyes, the world that has disappeared will reappear.
But for some time he continues to believe that he himself disappears and appears along with the outside world!
At the weekend, when you can finally sleep a little longer, the child rises even earlier than on ordinary days when you have to wake him up.
Even a small child perfectly understands that Sunday has come, so he does not hear the usual morning rush: there is no water in the shower, the kitchen does not turn on the radio … So, mom and dad are in no hurry and will spend the whole day with it! Hence the desire to wake up parents as early as possible in order to get the most of their attention, time for games and entertainment.
From this point of view, the situation looks more flattering, is not it? Take advantage of this period!
A few more years – and you have to beg the child to do something with you.
Unlike you, the child does not reflect on what to cook for dinner during the game and does not scroll through yesterday’s talks with the boss. For him, playing is serious, he is completely focused on it and puts all his energy into it.
Winning at Memori is his main goal now, while for you it is nothing more than entertainment. In addition, at the beginning of purposeful learning, a short-term memory of a child can actually work better than that of an adult relying more on long-term memory, as well as on all kinds of reminders.
The game “Memori” is useful not only for the kid, but also for adults, because it has been proven that short-term memory is the basis of all intellectual activity.
Since she was three years old, her daughter refuses to put on clothes of a different color and in general demands that she be allowed to wear a princess costume to kindergarten, for a walk and to a clinic.
By the age of three or four, the child is aware of his belonging to a certain sex and clearly distinguishes the sex of the people around him, although he often draws conclusions about gender by proceeding from random external signs, such as clothes and hairstyles. Therefore, the “pink period” can be considered as an important stage in the formation of the “I” image of a child.
Pink clothes allow the girl to tell the world about her gender, and the princess dress gives high self-esteem (which, by the way, is especially fragile at this age). Therefore, even if you are not delighted with candy tones, treat your daughter’s choice with respect.
This does not mean that it is worth going on with her and letting her wear the crown everywhere and everywhere. You can explain to your child that real princesses also wear it on especially solemn occasions, but good manners and beautiful posture are an integral part of the image.
Milk noodles, cottage cheese casserole, grated carrots – all the healthy dishes that are pushed aside with a displeased grimace, do not cause protest in the kindergarten and, according to the teacher, are absorbed with pleasure …
It’s simple: the kid understands that the rules in the manger and in the garden are different, and he feels that the methods of blackmail spent at home in the neutral territory will not pass. And it’s not just about following the example of the majority. For a child, the food prepared by mom is not just food, it is love and care in its purest form!
He either accepts them, eating what they give him, or asserting himself, declares his autonomy, seeks recognition of his own tastes and desires, refusing to eat. In kindergarten, not only the taste of food is different – there is a different microclimate. Such a powerful emotional stuffing is not laid in the process of eating, no one “hangs” over the little eater, asking endlessly: “Well, do you like it?
Tasty? ”Parents should try to reduce emotional stress, which often occurs when a young child is taught to eat“ adult ”food.
You are going to have dinner with your husband in a restaurant, the child stays for three hours with a nanny, to whom he has long been accustomed and enjoys spending time with her in the afternoon. And suddenly, half an hour before the release, the kid arranges a real concert with sobs, scattering toys and clinging to your dress. What’s the matter?
Small children are very sensitive to any changes in their environment. Their locators, tuned to you, pick up your mood, condition, rhythm and send a signal to your child: something is wrong. Mom obviously behaves differently than usual.
Evening ritual reduced, mom thinks about something else, even her smell has changed! Therefore, if your evening exits is a rare and unusual phenomenon for a child, you should prepare for them.
Spend the entire ritual of laying without haste, trying to make it no different from the usual. Change your clothes and pillow before leaving the house.
And, most importantly, if you are worried about guilt, once again tell yourself that you are not doing anything wrong and your vacation will have a positive effect not only on you, but also on the child, and on your relationship with him.