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Use Your Mum Fuse

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Use Your Mum Fuse

Use Your Mum Fuse

Feel like youre always about to lose it? Channel your mum rage and avoid an explosion

The build-up to my mother-of-all-meltdowns was almost comical. Returning from holiday, the house was a cacophony of chaos and dirty washing. Up since 6am, my five and two year olds had reached a state of delirious over-tiredness, constantly screaming or moaning. Making a salmon and rice dinner (in atonement for two weeks of chips), I had to call them six times to come to the table, at which point I found our cat nibbling the fish off my sons plate. He burst into tears, and my daughter took one look at her dinner before announcing, lsquo;I dont like this. Its disgusting. At that moment, I couldnt stop myself from yelling. Even at the cat.

And its something that many of us experience, as research shows 61% of Brit mums and dads describe parenting as lsquo;difficult, while 87% of working mothers say stress causes them to shout at their kids. lsquo;Before children, were pretty much in control of our lives, but a baby throws all that up in the air, explains psychotherapist Karen Meager. lsquo;Its normal to feel frustrated, but the impact on us emotionally can be huge. Women who are motivated achievers can find this particularly stressful. Factor in a lack of sleep and the fact busy mums tend not to eat well and get dehydrated, and this puts your body under strain. This is also known as Martyr Mum syndrome, where we put our kids wellbeing before our own.

In those moments when the red mist descends, its sometimes all we can do to keep a lid on things.

Once youve recognised the trigger, diffuse it. lsquo;Its not a childs fault theyve pushed your buttons, says Naomi Richards, author of The Parents Tool Kit (12.99, Vermilion). lsquo;One approach is to use humour or distraction to ease tension. Sometimes making a joke about how ridiculous the situation is ndash; theyve asked you a question 20 times ndash; or saying, ldquo;Look at that big bird over there!rdquo; moves it on.

If you still find that youre simmering with frustration and your new go-to reaction to stress is to shout, step back. The aim is to prevent the meltdown ndash; either by asking someone else to take over, putting the kids in front of CBeebies for 20 minutes, or simply taking a few deep breaths before you say anything.

How do you cool your temper if you feel like you’re about to get angry? Let us know below.

Use Your Mum Fuse

When you have a baby, the barrage of opinions from other mums – even the well-intentioned – can be misplaced, unwanted and downright infuriating. Viv Groskop has been there and practised the comebacks

Use Your Mum Fuse

Not In Front Of The Children: How To Have Constructive Arguments

He hasnt helped with breakfast, youre exhausted and the kids are playing up. Prime time for a fight. But could – and should – you suck it up until the children are in bed?

Use Your Mum Fuse

Whether you reckon you can do every bit of babycare better than your partner or he just doesnt understand how much youre juggling, being parents can cause problems and arguments in your relationship

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