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- The 24 Phrases You Only Start To Say Once Youre A Parent
Quiz: Has fatherhood turned your partner into his dad?
If youre worried your man is transforming into his father before your very eyes, take this quiz to find out for sure.
When I had my first child I didnt just become a dad, I started to become more like my dad ndash; all of a sudden I had an intense urge to nap at 3pm and, for goodness sake, why do people keep leaving the bathroom light on? I will, though, never share a teabag between cups. Some things are sacred.
1. On the way home from the pub you pass a house party, does he:
a) Suggest you buy some beers and blag your way in?
b) Say hed love to but hes going for a 10k run in the morning and staying up after midnight really messes with his metabolism?
c) Knock on the door and explain to the owners they are in breach of Sub Section C of the local authoritys noise pollution policy?
2. A group of youths is approaching, does he:
a) Nod and mumble ldquo;alrightrdquo;?
b) Make a mental note of their clothes, which hell buy online later?
c) Take a detour around them, looking over his shoulder every other step and wondering where all the bobbies on the beat are these days?
3. On arriving at a friends house for a long weekend he:
a) Bear-hugs his hosts.
b) Hands over the bottle of wine his wife remembered to bring and wonders when theyre going to open the damn thing.
c) Immediately engages in a discussion about the route he drove to get there.
4. On Saturday morning is he most likely to be:
a) Just getting home.
b) Absolutely certain it is not his turn to get up with the baby.
c) In Homebase buying a strimmer.
5. Your children ask for a pet; your man:
a) Jumps at the chance to get the Basset Hound he was never allowed.
b) Thinks itll be a great opportunity for his little one to learn about life, death and taking on a long term responsibility.
c) Says: ldquo;Itll be me walking it every day when you lose interest. And do you know how much vets cost? Thatd come out of your pocket money.rdquo;
b) That doesnt struggle to overtake a mobility scooter.
c) That has enough boot space for a suitcase, several bikes and a thermos flask. Obviously hell be the only one allowed to pack said boot.
7. In that car hes programmed the radio to:
a) Radio 1, because hes down with da kidz.
b) Heart FM, because he likes pop music as much as the next man, but would rather it came with a tune.
c) Radio 4, because he loves documentaries about rare moths.
a) Keep playing with his smartphone?
b) Scoop you up in his arms and tell you its going to be OK?
c) Crack an inappropriate joke such as: ldquo;Its a lovely haircut! Its amazing what they can do with a pair of garden shears these daysrdquo;?
9. On holiday theres a small child playing by the sea, he:
a) Doesnt notice them.
b) Thinks: ldquo;Thats cute, but theyve got no idea how to build a structurally sound sandcastle.rdquo;
c) Is overcome with concern because theyre not wearing a sun hat and who knows when a freak wave might sweep them away.
10. When he goes for a haircut:
a) He asks for whatever Zayn Maliks got.
b) Has a bit off the back and sides and a tidy up on top. As always.
c) The hairdresser trims his eyebrows and ears. Without asking first.
Mostly As: Your man is still a carefree boy at heart. His fathers concerns are like a foreign country.
Mostly Bs: Hes clinging on to his youth, but the call of middle age is strong. Hes starting to follow in his fathers footsteps.
Mostly Cs: Your man hasnt just become his dad, hes becoming his granddad. Pass the slippers.
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